Typing Out Loud

Happy Blogoversary

2012-01-25T20:05:00.000-06:00

What does that even mean? Well, it means that four years ago on this day I wrote my first blog posting ever. Going back and reading that last night was interesting to say the least.

I referenced my time in middle school and high school as "...some of the best years of my life." and my move to California "...was the best move I had made...", and even my time in Virginia had its postives whereas I "...minimized smoking, drinking, and eating out.".

Reading that was highly encouraging. Realizing how far I have come. I was far from living a healthy lifestyle at that time period of my life physically, emotionally, psychologically, or Spiritually. At that time I was scared, confused, and alone. It was before I discovered Andrew, the greatest gift God has ever given me. A time when I knew little of how to be a good friend, son, brother, father, boyfriend, etc. (Which by the way is an area I still have a long way to go in)

The funny thing about coming across my own blog post from four years ago is that here I thought I was in a "rough" season...and in a sense I am. However, reflecting back I realize just how far I have come in all areas my life since then. My response back then would have been to drink; I drank at least a bottle of Patron every weekend (usually more). I would smoke cigarettes to reduce my stress; HAHAHA how ironic being they load you with toxins which stress the body, I would go out and have sex; with someone I knew or go to a bar to find a stranger; I would do drugs; attempting to numb the pain. Regardless I now see the growth.

Now I pray, praise, worship, read the Word, call friends to discuss my problems, go seek counsel from one wiser than myself, go to the gym, run...just to name a few. Of course I stumble here and there. I do not want to make myself sound all righteous. Just interesting to see where God has brought me over the last four years. It actually stirs my faith and gets me excited for what 2012 (and beyond) will bring.

So sorry to disappoint I guess this post was more for me than anyone else on this four year Blogoversary of mine.

Hearsay...

2012-01-24T00:23:00.000-06:00

what I hear is not what you say
my insecurities get in the way
past experiences created a lens
my interpretation makes no sense

what I hear is not what you say
due to my actions I now must pay
wishing I could turn back time
to when my presence brought sublime

what I hear is not what you say
from your mouth to my ears is a fray
seeking wisdom in His word
is the only cure I can afford

what I hear is not what you say
but with listening ears that all can change
God has changed me much you see
even more to come when I die to me

Awareness...

2012-01-23T22:39:00.001-06:00

I humbly come before you Lord
as a piece of dirt
which you made into something beautiful
that which I aspire to become
sin places a wedge
your son
the cross
separation removed
sin...
again...
why oh God is it so hard
my failure causes damage
my cuts and bruises will heal
but first heal those I hurt before

Poetry?!?!

2012-01-23T22:28:00.000-06:00

Anyone that knows me or even does not know me, but has followed my blog knows I am not a poet...However, it is beginning to flow and whether you think it is good or not matters not to me. Flow it will.

In fact I love the following quote from Michael Gungor in a recent blog post.

"Your art is worth making even if the industry [world] around you isn’t quite ready for it yet. Make it and let them catch up with you. Your art is sacred. Be honest. Be brave. And don’t let the markets or the industry [or the world] be the final filter on your art, let your heart do that."

So I may have one poem or it may continue for weeks, months, even years. Just know that in this season it is beginning to flow and I do not know where it comes from.

Heart ache...

2012-01-22T19:44:00.000-06:00

heart and ache two words
should never be a pair
who can know why

Betrayal....

2012-01-22T03:45:00.000-06:00

You know that moment you discover you have been lied to? Betrayed?
Hurts doesn't it?

Incarceration... (Part two) -- PARADIGM SHIFT

2012-01-16T19:10:00.003-06:00

If you read yesterdays post (Incarceration... (Part One)) then the photo above may look familiar to you only with a different perspective. A broader view of the events. Yesterday showed a young boy looking down as though he were possibly sad, scared, even disappointed. Honestly, it was how I had oftentimes felt the last few weeks until yesterday afternoon/evening. I felt trapped in a cage as though my Spiritual and emotional growth had been put on pause. Realistically I do not have "prison bars" around me; rather I have a hedge of protection.

You see I took these photos a little over a year ago when I was out in California to visit my son Andrew. I sat watching this father and his son for over a half hour. The young boy would shout out, "Daddy! Get more sticks daddy. Make it better!". Honestly I was in tears majority of the time wishing, hoping, dreaming it could have been me and my son. But I digress...

How often do we pray for protection or favor? Crying out to God, "Daddy! Keep me safe and secure, make it bigger and stronger!". Then when God provides just that as our heavenly Father when it does not look like we though it would we begin to change our thoughts.We view the situation and focus on what we do not have or what we cannot do. Why is this? How do I so easily forget?

Just as this photo exhibits a father carefully watching over his son after having built a fort upon his son's request; so does our great God do the same for us. So next time you begin to feel life is crashing down around you try to focus on the good. Step back and look at the big picture.

Recommended reading

Think Differently, Live Differently

Incarceration... (Part one)

2012-01-15T22:44:00.001-06:00

Have you reached a point where you feel you have finally reached true freedom and healing from past hurts and heartache? You feel healthy to the point you can move forward in life carrying love, joy, strength, and courage...spreading it to all within your circle of influence. I was there. Then God moved me into a new season, brought new people into my life, and led to other relationships ending or becoming less prevalent. Through all this new insecurities are surfaced. The hurt...the pain leads me right back into responding in ways which are unloving. My feelings get hurt and I do not know exactly where it comes from. The worst part is the people witnessing my actions or being involved in them truly had absolutely nothing to do with these insecurities thus unjustly being affected by them. While awaiting the pain and time of this surgery removing the roots of my issues I feel as though I am incarcerated.

Maybe, just maybe it is where I need to be right now...

Either way I pray for deliverance ad the song below exhibits my prayer during this time.

This is occasionally an acerbic journey...

2012-01-15T16:30:00.000-06:00

This life can be so difficult at times. You can be having an incredible day and then one phone call, event, occurrence, etc. can change it all. I try so hard at times to be better and I feel that over the last four months I continue to falter in so many areas. Up until the last week or two I have felt I was regressing in my Spiritual journey. When all in all I believe the truth is I was trying to head in a direction ahead of God's timing. I believe it is a "future through street". Is it frustrating, difficult, even painful? Absolutely.

If you are one of the two or three people that actually read my blog; please be praying for me to have the strength to glorify Him in all I do and say. I am scratching and clawing to get back to the Spiritual heights I have reached over the last couple years. And honestly I am probably being hard on myself. Maybe I simply need to forgive myself for sin in my life.

Pray for the relationships in my life that God give me peace, patience, wisdom, and strength to be the Godly man I need to be to exhort and encourage everyone within my circle of influence as it broadens in 2012.

Pray that as insecurities are being dug up and God is getting to the roots that I truly surrender them to Him so they can be addressed and removed from my life.

New beginnings...

2012-01-01T13:01:00.000-06:00

After awakening on January 1st, 2012 I was on my way home when I realized how beautiful the sunrise was both physically and Spiritually. Physically, it was fresh, clean...new. The day prior was a balmy 75 degrees and then a cold front blew in overnight and it was closer to 40 degrees that morning. The wind from the front cleared out all the smog, pollen, and other junk. It left for an absolutely clear and gorgeous blue sky for the first morning of this new year. Now on to what God spoke to me during this time...

The photo shows the power of the sun...the light. It also shows the clarity of the sky. The picture message I got from God was that with this new beginning I should be walking towards the light (His son) constantly pursuing to be closer and more intimate with Him. The fresh air and clarity was Him showing me in the physical realm how everything truly is new in the Spiritual realm (Lamentations 3:22-23). He also spoke to me explaining how we should honestly treat every moment as we do a new calendar year. When we fall short and sin we must be quick to acknowledge that sin, confess the sin, and then repent. In that moment we can truly experience His grace and mercy. We do not have to wait until a new year, a new season in our lives, or even a new morning. Right then and right there He will forgive us our sins and, if we receive it, give us the freedom He intended when He sent His son to die on the cross for us.

However, I do not want to be one the Christians that causes an individual to believe it is simplified to the point of relaxing. Something else God pointed out to me was path between where I was standing and the horizon where the sun had risen from. Notice it is far from a clear path. I was reminded of what Jesus said in John 16:33. We can pray until we are blue in the face asking for peace (and I assure you I do), but we must remember that there will be trials and tribulation. With that being said we will find peace when we focus first on God, regardless of our circumstances.

So as we move into the year 2012 let us all try to remember that God's grace and mercy never expires and in fact is constant. So we do not have to wait until 2013, next month, or even the morning to experience the sweet love of Jesus. God's grace, mercy, love, forgiveness, etc. is constant in ways we cannot imagine. So do not spend hours, days, weeks, or more beating yourself up and allowing condemnation from the enemy. Lay it down at the foot of the cross and keep moving towards the sun!

What if...

2011-12-28T14:34:00.001-06:00

Orbital indifference
chaos rampant
delusional stoppage
accusational cynicism

Verbal extrapolation...

2011-12-14T01:10:00.001-06:00

As many of you who know me can attest, an area where I could use some growth is the use of my words. Sure many of you may be thinking of how encouraging I am because those are the exact words I hear from many of you. But, there are those times where I still respond improperly, especially at work. The workplace may be where I struggle the most with this in dealing with such diverse personalities. Another area (where I am improving), but have likely done drastic damage in the past is with my family and others with which I have close relationships. Again I am aware and incredibly grateful to God for the immense growth I have experienced in this area over the last two to three years. With that being said it remains an area of focus where I choose to surrender to His will so He can further renew those broken areas of my life.

I truly want to allow Him to do the work whereas I have tried in the past to correct these character flaws myself. In doing so I open the door for the enemy to come in and take me the other direction like the swing of a pendulum...withdrawal, silence, or empty words. I like the quote from the book 'Boundaries' "...an internal no nullifies an external yes." Just as God is more concerned with our hearts than outward compliance He also designed us to live that out in other relationships. Silence or empty words can do as much damage as harsh unloving words. This can leave the other individual feeling empty inside; especially in marriage. (I know I am not married and never have been, but the aforementioned is Biblical)

I mean we are created in His image and if He spoke everything there is into existence do you not believe in the power of our words?

James 3:5 - 12

Forgiveness…redemption…

2011-11-30T21:17:00.000-06:00

So today I had planned to go after work to the gym and then to church to volunteer with Mor which is our high school ministry. I have been highly involved in our Jr. High Ministry Amped for over a year and whereas I love all of our current students I do miss many that have moved on. I thought it would be good to "move on" with them and another great way to serve my King! Then last night an amazing woman God has placed in my life made the simple statement, "You do so much already, are you really going to commit to something else?"

Throughout this day those words would occasionally visit me. So I decided to simply pray about it. I felt lead to simply go home and rest. Rest in the sense of relaxing in ways I find relaxing, not necessarily just taking a nap. The kind of rest God has been speaking to me about all of 2011. If you now me well you know I am kind of always going, going, going. Well, the words of wisdom I received last night sunk in my thick skull and I decided to have an evening of rest. In doing so I decided to go on a run whereas I have not run in well over a month now. I am cannot understand why, but it is something I have grown to enjoy. So run I did...I started out of my neighborhood and began to run along business 287 out side my neighborhood. Things were going well...listening to my iPod and enjoying the cooler weather. I felt amazingly good after such a long absence of this activity in my life.

As I turned around and was heading back home I was joyful...grateful for my job, my girlfriend...my life as it goes. I have so much to be grateful for. Then it happened...the young punks that find others misery humorous. A truck goes by with three young adults inside and one of them throws out a half full beer can. Bear in mind this is an actual highway in a rural area. So they were traveling at minimum 50 mph. I had no time to react, before I could process anything I felt the impact of the can on my face. Its mass caving in to form the shape of my brow. A surreal moment of disbelief.

Once I had ascertained what had occurred I turned around, but the truck was far too distant to view the license plate number. Anger welled up inside my soul! Thoughts of being there again tomorrow to serve justice flowed through my mind. Many other thoughts came to mind as I was allowing my anger (my emotions) to lead my response. Then I realized I had better make sure I was OK. I felt around and no blood was seemingly present. I did my best to pull out my phone in a failed attempt to use it as a vanity mirror. I then decided to take a photograph of myself to view the damage. Not near as sever as circumstances could have allowed. Thankfully I serve a great, great God that is my protector.

It was in that moment I realized what had occurred. God truly had protected me from further damage. It was also in that moment I realized I had to forgive and move on. Pray for their souls. I am still in awe of how no more damage was done, but I can only give the credit to our God; whether he placed a protective angel there in that moment or just designed me with a hard head (spare the jokes...lol) I am grateful.

It was also through the ensuing conversation with God I realized through forgiveness it opens the door to further redemption which He provided for us on the cross. I truly believe I further experienced the redeeming power of the cross this evening. Through forgiveness I further experienced the same redemption we have all been given.

Postprandial somnolence...

2011-11-28T21:17:00.000-06:00

This was a post I had intended to write on Thanksgiving; whereas it ties in well with the relaxed, tiresome state we often feel after our Thanksgiving meal. Something we often experience in the physical after eating a meal, but I believe we also have to be careful to not fall into this state in our Spiritual lives as well.

For example, 2011 is a year where I have been blessed to have been fed more Spiritually than any other time in my life. I attribute some of this to my desire to grow closer to our sweet Lord, but another contributing factor is the people I have been blessed to have in my life that have challenged me to grow even more. Additionally, my home church is adamant about equipping others to be properly armed to go into battle for the souls of those within our circle of influence.

By pressing in and allowing God to use me I have had a bigger impact on the world than I could have ever imagined. The stories I hear others tell me of how God impacted their lives through me is truly humbling. None of this could be done on my own because honestly I am as much a screw up as the next guy. But God has done an amazing work in me that allows me to hear Him clearly and through obedience and surrender to His will I have had a the honor of furthering His kingdom.

With all that being said I want to finish this year off with a bang and forcefully move forward into 2012. October and November were months where I faltered at times (more so than the prior nine months), but it has been a learning experience that I choose to use to draw me closer to God. I refuse to let postprandial somnolence set in from from my massive Spiritual meal I have enjoyed up to this point. If nothing else this post was written for accountability. So for those of you in my life I give you permission to do just that...hold me accountable.

In a days time...

2011-11-27T22:33:00.000-06:00

The arising sun shines so bright,
Creating many smiles of great delight.
Hours go by and the day wears on,
All the casted shadows, they grow long.
Darkness then envelops the sky,
The adjustment inevitable within my eyes.

A lot occurs within that time,
Most of those actions worth but a dime.
I pray to God my actions each day,
Impact the eternal in a Godly way.

I have fallen and I can get up...

2011-11-13T10:19:00.001-06:00

So I realize I have not posted in here in several months. Other than some poetry a few weeks back. I assure you it has not been out of a lack of desire. Writing is so therapeutic and and I enjoy sharing whereas I know God may choose to use my writing to impact someones soul in a positive manner. I also realize when I was posting more often I was in a rough season showing true transparency on here. Well, you will be happy to know a renewed season of hope and joy followed those posts.

Now onto present day life. Over the better portion of the year 2011 I have felt fantastic. My ministry to youth has exploded in so many ways and the best part is it has been effortless on my part. By making proper choices and being obedient God has done all the work. I am also physically healthier than I have likely ever been in my life which is incredible considering my past of sexual immorality, drugs, and alcohol. I find the link between our Spirits, minds, and bodies much greater than our western culture style of thinking would like to allow. As I have grown Spiritually in my relationship with our God my emotions and physical wellness has benefited exponentially.

Anyway, I digress. This brings me to the present day season I am in. One of struggle, but due to the last year of my life my faith is so much stronger that I refuse to allow myself to go back down the dark paths of my past. I stumbled and I stumbled hard, but fortunately God brought some amazing people into my life over the last few weeks. He has and is speaking to me through these individuals without them even being aware until I share with them.

At this point I am ready to get back in the race and run with all I have. When I stumbled I took myself out and I have been licking my wounds and seeking comfort in areas other than those of the Lord. The good news is I know how much of a screw-up everyone in the Bible was (with exception of Jesus) and they were all used in mighty ways. All it took was surrender. Once surrendered to His will then run with all your might.

Below is a video I saw this morning that nearly brought me to tears and the timing of me seeing this could not have been more perfect. I hope it speaks to you as well.

Seared heart...

2011-10-17T22:58:00.000-05:00

Events in life will take their toll,
All the while impacting your soul.

Depending on your strength within,
The result can lead you straight to sin.

Surrender is the ultimate key,
to what you ask? Do not ask me.

The choice is yours within free will,
The thought process can make you ill.

I await the time I look back and see,
How all this only strengthened me.

Growing Pains...

2011-03-23T22:43:00.001-05:00

No I am not writing about the TV series with Kirk Cameron. Nor am I talking about physical pains caused from skeletal or muscular growth periods in childhood. Rather I am talking about Spiritual, emotional, relational, psychological, etc. Yeah pretty much everything else other than the two aforementioned non issues I am currently dealing with.

In my previous post I wrote of this tough season I am experiencing. A season where our mighty God has led me into the wilderness. A season where I am on the potter's wheel being worked over by the sovereign hands of God. A season where both my Spirit and soul are being stretched. A season where my faith is being tested and as a result is growing exponentially as I learn to further surrender myself to His will.

One thing we need to remember too is Jesus (as God in the flesh here in earth) endured the same struggles we do so He truly does understand. I like this that I read from Max Lucado:

Because of His Gift

"that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death" - Philippians 3:10

Trace the path of the Saviour, the God who swapped heavenly royalty for earthly poverty. His bed became, at best, a borrowed pallet---and usually the hard earth. He was dependent on hands out for his income. He sometimes so hungry He would eat raw grain or pick fruit off a tree. He knew what it meant to have no home. He was ridiculed. His neighbors tried to lynch Him. Some called Him a lunatic. His family tried to confine to their house. His friends weren't always faithful to him.

He was accused of a crime He never committed. Witnesses were hired to lie. The jury was rigged. A judge swayed by politics handed down the death penalty.

They killed Him.

So the next time you feel you are all alone or as though you are having to endure something unique to yourself think about all He endured. Just accept that the growing pains your experiencing lead to renewed and invigorated growth!

Stripped down...

2011-03-21T21:53:00.000-05:00

Toughest season ever...

It feels as though I am losing everything...

I believe that is the point, God is stripping me down to bare minimum until I press even more into Him....

The confusing thing is I am chasing after God, pressing in, seeking more of Him....

This is just one of those seasons of stretching, testing of my faith...

It hurts. I pray it ends soon.

Would you tell me if I had broccoli in my teeth?

2011-02-28T01:13:00.001-06:00

   While I was at lunch after church on Sunday I overheard a conversation a family sitting near me was having. It was a husband, wife, and three daughters. It looked as though they varied in age from about four to nine years old. The middle daughter had a put a bow or ribbon in her hair when I heard the father tell her "That does not look good honey."

   I was not deliberately listening in on the conversation I was just admiring what appeared to be great unity among this family when I saw and overheard what was being said. At that point I decided to play some 'Words with Friends' to allow the family their privacy and pass the time.

   I was rummaging through the dictionary in my head to decide upon the next word I would use in an attempt to conquer my opponent when I could not help but hear the daughter then begin to whine whereas her feelings had been hurt. That was when I heard the true compassion and heart of a mother come out with these words. "Would you tell me if I had broccoli in my teeth?". She then went into an explanation to ensure that her daughter knew the truth that the "look" of that particular bow, in that particular place, with that particular outfit, etc was what did not look good. It was not as though the girl herself did not look good. From the look on her face and the sound in her voice I felt that she was struggling with believing that as truth.

   Is God telling you that something does not look good in your life? Do not allow the accuser to set lies within your heart that you do not look good or that you are not good. Know that He is looking out for your best interests and only wants to help you. It may not seem like it in the moment and you may not understand, but that is the truth.

Intentional, incidental, or accidental...

2011-02-27T11:23:00.000-06:00

Damage

This photo is of my car. This is damage that I noticed yesterday while on break at work. It is not even all shown in the photo and I am not sure if you can see the significance of the damage in this photo, but due to the location it had to have been some serious impact to cause the dents that it did.

Let us move on to the point of this blog whereas if we ask, God will speak to us at ALL times in every event of every minute of every day. What God spoke to me through this was that regardless of how good a steward we are to what He has given to us, others can (and oftentimes will) damage (or cause wounds to) those things or to us. It could be intentional, incidental, or accidental. It could even be from our friends.

The great news about all this is that the wounds, hurt, damage inflicted by others only have as much control as we allow them to. Am I saying it is easy to just let it all go? Absolutely not, in fact I am struggling with a few things right now in my own personal life. But you have a choice to carry it with you or work to give it up to God and move forward. If you are walking in obedience, the best way out is always through. Do not stop and stand still, do not try to go around, and especially do not turn back to go back where you came from.

In the end my car still runs, still gets me from point 'A' to point 'B', still protects me from the elements of the weather, etc. In fact that damage to my vehicle sent me right back to God which resulted in this word I am now sharing with you. It just goes to show that He can turn all things for good!

Where did they go?

2011-02-22T05:49:00.000-06:00

Times of trial when diligence is tested are times when true friends surface and the fakes are exposed. It can be some of the most painful events during those trials whereas the one(s) you felt would be there through anything may just be the first to abandon you.

An addiction I desire to have...

2011-02-17T23:22:00.000-06:00

About a year ago I was in communication with someone who has known me for several years. I think they are still to this day trying to figure out what has happened to me. I have been overtly open and honest that by surrendering my life to God I am a new creature and that His love is growing inside me. One of their responses was "I have heard church is just another addiction." I can not argue that. I am addicted to the love I feel from God. I am addicted to church. However...

CHURCH IS NOT A BUILDING!

Church is community, it is what occurs outside the walls of the building much more than what occurs within them. As a result of that community and the grace and mercy of our great God, I am literally a new creature. So if you view it as an addiction then hook up the IV! I have traded in other addictions. A glass pipe for the Bible, a joint for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, a bottle of Patron for worshiping our sweet Lord, a life of promiscuity for real unadulterated relationship with people that love me for ME!

If an addiction causes me to love others more, results in my making wiser decisions, has an outcome of true integrity, and true joy through all circumstances then give me MORE!

To elaborate on the joy part I can tell you this. Whereas I would be lying if I said I have not struggled I am joyful. As I type this I do not know when I will get to see my son again, I do not know where I will be living in six weeks whereas my lease is up, I do not know how I will get the maintenance done on my vehicle that is now past due, I do not know how I will pay my upcoming bills, I do not know where I stand in a very important relationship, and I do not know what my job situation truly is whereas my current job does not appease my stringent budget. I could go on, but I will spare you LOL. But, you know what? I am still joyful!

I am however beaten down. The weight of all this and the world itself has been beating against me for weeks now. I worn down. "Limping" as a sister in Christ mentioned while praying for me earlier this evening. Which spoke to me, in fact minutes prior to that statement and prayer I had read my friend Nancy's blog in which she discussed crutches, among other things. [Go ahead go check it out]

That was when I realized my life with Christ can fill another cliché (other than "just another addiction"). It is also a crutch. That's right I said it. And you know what I want two of them and I am going to lean in and put ALL my weight on them. God can handle it, I assure you. Fortunately, through God's perfect timing I also got a scholarship to go on a retreat this weekend with some great men of God. I know not what is in store for me, but I know it is good. First of all I need the time away. A good friend of mine is driving so I can save my fuel for work and reduce more wear and tear on my vehicle that needs some tender loving care right now LOL

Well, folks that is all I have for tonight. Just felt the need to get that off my chest. Feel free to comment or contact me if you want or need to chat more. Also if you think about it please pray for me and my current circumstances. I will not tell you what or how to pray, if you feel led to pray for me then be led by the Holy Spirit as to how and what you should pray. Thank you for reading and I pray blessings over every that reads this blog. Now go out and be the light and salt to the world God desires you to be!

I want to be the stronger brother...

2011-02-16T22:08:00.000-06:00

   Wait what? Do you think I am indecisive now? Just yesterday I wanted to be the weaker brother. Well, I want to be both.

   I too can be a mentor and pour into the lives of others. Our precious Lord fills us up so that He can then pour us out. Whereas I may have a very long way to go in my spiritual journey; I am still further along than others and it is my responsibility as a disciple to help others. The best part is, if you are living your life and dying to self daily then you do not even have to try.

   By simply being me (the me I have become through progressive sanctification)  I have been acknowledged, notified, and shown (in some interesting ways) how I have had a positive impact on the lives of many individuals.

   In fact, I had a few letters of character reference written by friends for the court hearing I just had in CA and a few of those letters drove me to tears. Tears of joy for the work God is doing through me in the lives of others. It is incredible to see how others view yourself when you are truly living under the authority of God and serving Him and others.

   Even the video I did at my church caused an influx of phone calls, Facebook messages, text messages, emails, and physical conversations in person about how I touched peoples lives. That was not my intention at all in doing that video. To me it was simply an opportunity to thank all those out there that were so giving to help individuals in need like myself.

   I could go on and on, but I believe you get the point.

   All of us should at some times be the weaker brother (or sister) to receive and then take that to be the stronger brother (or sister) and give back to others what has been poured into us!

I want to be the weaker brother...

2011-02-15T22:56:00.000-06:00

   No the title of this post is not a typo. Yes you read it correctly. I want to be the weaker brother!

   This all came to me when I heard a sermon from Jeff Wickwire on the radio when driving to work the other day. The title of his message was 'The Weaker Brother'. He was not necessarily using it in the context that I am, but they parallel one another.

   Basically, if I am the weaker brother then that means I am around a stronger one. A man more wise, more spiritually mature, and whatever else God feels I need to submit to the authority of in my time here on earth. Sounds a lit like a mentor does it not? I have felt for over a year that the Lord wanted me to have a good mentor. He even gave me a name, obviously I was not exactly obedient in that area of life whereas I still do not have an official mentor. I do have people that speak into my life, but not a mentor per se.

   That is why I am excited about this weekend! God worked out all the details that I get to go on a retreat this weekend that is specifically for younger men to go and hear from older, wiser, successful men. By successful I mean in marriage, life, business, being a father, a brother, a friend, and yes even a mentor. I know not what to expect other than for God to move on and in my life. So if you are praying and have a spare moment pray for a divine appointment with my mentor this weekend and that I kill off my flesh in an effort to get more from Him!

Agreements coexisting with arbitration...

2011-02-12T19:47:00.002-06:00

Countless individuals have been asking how the court hearing went in California for legal custody/visitation of Andrew. I was hoping and praying for the best so that I can begin growing a deeper relationship with Andrew and although I wanted more; I believe that our God did the best for the present time. Rather than get all wordy and drawn out I will succinctly put the results below in bullet points.

Partial Stipulation

With notice greater than 48 hours I will be allowed reasonable visitation with Andrew and we will have a mental health professional involved as a third party for their input that will allow for fair progression in visitation. (i.e. - more time and eventually having him come here for split holidays, part of the summer, and any other that is agreed upon at that time)
I have an allotted time with a 30 minute window to call and speak to Andrew once a week. I can call more often than once a week, but that does not guarantee that I will get to speak to him.

Arbitrary Orders

I will be provided with a copy of Andrew's birth certificate and my request was granted to be added to his birth certificate.
I will be notified of Andrew's Social Security Number and provided with a copy of his Social Security card.
It was also granted that my name will be added to the school and medical records of Andrew so that I may be advised and aware of his education and health.

All in all that is all great news whereas prior to the hearing I had nothing within my control. It will still be difficult to get out there as often as I would like, but we got the ball rolling and now can only gain momentum. Thank you all who have stood in the gap with prayer support. Just know that you have helped one young man have the opportunity to know his father better. Now I pray for provision so I can begin contributing more financially to his life and to be able to get out there more often to visit.

Freedom from the past...

2011-02-05T12:53:00.000-06:00

   God's forgiveness is absolute; we are the ones that struggle with forgiveness (both giving and receiving). Until you truly believe this in your heart you can not experience true freedom from your past. It is much easier to believe this in your mind than to allow that belief to travel eighteen inches to the heart.

   What I am about to share with you, many of you know about my past...most of you do not. This part of my life goes back to early 2004. This was a time when I was working for a publication company during the week and working in a friends bar on the weekends. At this time I was living a life of total immorality. I was drunk every weekend (fringe benefit of being a bartender), I was living in promiscuity, smoking one to two packs of cigarettes a day, and the occasional joint would top things off. I was a poor steward of relationships in my life (both family and friends), I was a poor steward of money, and outside of the gym I was a poor steward of my own body. Needless to say I was on a path to sure destruction if things did not change.

   I know, most of you are saying you already knew that about me...well here goes the dropping of the bomb. On one particular night while working at the bar someone came in that evening I had not seen in several years. Someone I had been attracted to. To make a long story short after closing down the bar and getting out around three o'clock in the morning I made my way over to her place. This led to the miracle and blessing that is my son Andrew. Well, when his mother came to me to tell me she was pregnant I did not believe here whereas due to my promiscuity this was the fifth time in my life I had been told this same thing and yet I had no children. As hazy as this part of my life is I do remember this moment, I also remember losing patience with the situation and advising his mother that she should just go get rid of the baby. Yes abortion.

   You still with me here?

   Am I proud of this moment? Of course not. Is it completely out of character for me...I would like to think so, but you can see I was living life in a destructive manner and I am sure I caused lots of people pain in during those years whether intentional or not. Especially the mother of Andrew. I can only try to imagine the pain my reactions and words could have caused her. I know this...I am EVER so grateful that our almighty God works all things for His glory. I am ever so grateful that she chose NOT to go through with it.

   Over time Andrew's mother and I lost contact so I assumed it was just another bluff. Honestly I was curious and did try to find her through the internet on a couple occasions and I even called the phone number I had for her with no luck. Then on July 16, 2008 I received a message via MySpace from an individual whose moniker I did not recognize. I assumed the message was spam and almost deleted it. Luckily I did not and after a couple days I realized who it was! This began that journey on which I am still traveling called fatherhood. It has not been ideal, but I am doing the best with what I have and I am confident that in the end things will be great!

   Now to the forgiveness part. I struggled immensely with guilt, shame, fear, etc. I was only four months into moving back into relationship with God at this time. At that time I was still unaware of true forgiveness and freedom. Luckily He has spoken to me and drew me into Him throughout all of this. I can now live in freedom and I am focused on doing the best I can to be the best father possible with what I have been given in this season of my life. I hope and pray that the day the truth is revealed to Andrew he can find it in him to not allow all of this to hinder his life and growth into the man God intends for Him to be. God obviously has big plans for him considering all of this.

   I hope that if you have something that has held you in bondage of guilt or shame or anything else for that matter that you know that God's forgiveness is absolute. Others may not forgive you, but if you sincerely apologize from the heart, confess your sin towards them, and ask for their forgiveness that is all you can do. You must choose to receive God's forgiveness and healing and the freedom He has promised us and move forward in your life. Use your past mistakes to help you grow as an individual not to stunt that growth.

Prayer Request

Now I am about to head into a new season of fatherhood here. Last year I had a court hearing for the child support side of things. Last week I had a mediation hearing for legal shared custody/visitation. Both of which were somewhat frustrating due to the fact that I have not been present and so I am simply a voice coming out of a speaker box. I have a hearing this coming Monday to have the courts legally establish guidelines and parameters for the shared custody/visitation. Whereas Andrew is now six years old it is very important that I have your prayer support so that God's will be done through all of this and allow for me the best opportunity to be the father God desires me to be.

Stop the ride I want off!

2011-01-30T23:04:00.000-06:00

I have to be honest. Even with the posts I have written this year in trying to encourage you all in so many ways I wanted off the ride of life this morning. No I do not mean suicide; I just wanted to get off and stand static on solid ground, going no where. Life can be rough, it can be a scary ride.

The reality is that getting off the ride would help nothing. If anything it would prolong (or completely eliminate) any growth, learning, momentum, moving forward, etc. Eventually I would have to get back on the ride and I would be right where I was when I got off. We have a choice to react or to respond and the choices we make are directly correlated to how our relationship with God will develop. It is important for us to keep our faith through seasons of struggling.

"Our faith is in direct proportion to the absence of fear in our lives. Where fears begins, faith ends. Where there is faith there is no fear." -Marvin Yakos

In the past I would allow fear to gain control and attempt to run from these problems. By run I mean I would medicate with drugs, alcohol, or sexual immorality in an attempt to feel better and forget about these trials. None of that got me anywhere. Did I feel better? I thought so, but I can look back now and see how I was constantly increasing the pain and suffering.

It was so minuscule in doing so little at a time that I was unaware of it. For example, if you go out every morning and look at the tire on your vehicle you will not notice a difference (barring some major event like a nail in the tire, ramming it into a curb, etc.). Yet if you look at the tire (or even take a picture) then go back after a year or 15,000 miles of use you will see a significant difference. That is the same way I was eating away at my life by "medicating" myself. It was not noticeable in daily living, but after several years of doing so and looking back I wondered how I got where I was.

That is really all I have for this evening. Feel free to think about this and you may want to read the following scripture and study it with a study Bible and/or a commentary. It is DEEP!

2 Peter 1:3 - 11

"Actions in heaven begin when someone who prays on earth. " - Max Lucado

"If all you ever do is tear down and you don't build up everyone ends up homeless." - Matt Chandler

Goodnight cruel world...

2011-01-29T10:15:00.000-06:00

The title of this post was a "status update" I posted last night on Facebook prior to going to bed. Due to a couple of comments, text messages, and emails that were sent in response to that status update I realized that it was phrased in a way which was easily misconstrued and perceived incorrectly by some. The Lord really spoke to me through this reiterating something He has been speaking to me over the last few weeks.

PERCEPTION.

Have you ever noticed how many ways in which our perception is skewed? For example, look at your reflection in the water. Needless to say you would not be winning any beauty pageants if that were how you truly looked and if the world perceived you in this way every time you walked out into public. Another example using water would be when you stick an object partially in the water and keeping the rest of it out...what do you see? It looks as though the object is broken. Keeping with the previous theme of reflections how about when you look at your reflection in a window? You see yourself, yet you can see beyond yourself into the window and what is on the other side. To continue on the topic of seeing through things (or the lack thereof) how about when you are trying to see through an incredibly dense fog? I am talking about a fog with the density that your vision is decreased to that of two feet in front of you. Would you agree that it does not change what is in front of you yet you can not see anything beyond that two feet? Those (static) objects are still there just not visible.

Now those are only four examples out of millions that I am sure could be collected with input from everyone. So if our perception of things can be that skewed in the physical realm in which we live our daily lives and are surrounded by tangible objects then how much more is our perception skewed in that of the spiritual realm (or things unseen)?

I think this is very important for us to meditate on (if you are not a spiritual person them marinate in it). Seriously...whether you stop reading at this moment to do so or it is something you focus on for the next few hours, days, weeks, etc. I think it is very important that we allow ourselves to become more aware of this aspect of life and the fact that we can not grasp the concept fully and how it can be the root of confusion. We can however do our part to grow in this area so we (even if minimally) have a better understanding and a more clear perspective.

Regardless of your current circumstances just know that there is more going on than what we see and experience in the physical realm. If you woke up this morning then you have plenty to be grateful for whereas you are breathing. You have the choice to spend today acting as though you are a victim or living in the freedom of knowing you are a victor!

Stolen vehicle, accident on the freeway, and no food...

2011-01-26T22:35:00.001-06:00

I think most of us know the saying "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." Well, I allowed myself to be fooled numerous times over the last couple decades. Primarily this occurred in allowing my emotions to control me in circumstances. I was one who would "blow up", become irate, and express anger in very unhealthy ways. Do not believe me? Just ask ex-girlfriends, family members, friends, or other random victims of my behavioral patterns from my past. I assure you it was bad. In fact I love this quote from Marvin Yakos:

"Anger repressed becomes rage when it escapes, or if never allowed to vent, extreme depression."

With that being said I want to make it clear that anger in and of itself is not a "bad" emotion. The ways in which we control (or by allowing it to control us) anger is when it can become unhealthy. You may ask where I am going with all of this. Well...

Let me give some examples from the last few days showing immense growth on my part as a result of God doing an amazing work in my life since I have truly surrendered my heart to Him. Last Friday I went to go to work and my car had been stolen!

...or so I thought. Long story short it had been towed by my apartment complex and I am now in the midst of a battle to try to get reimbursed the funds which my mother so graciously loaned me to get it out. The person in charge here on the premises in which I live was not helpful at all and in fact very rude and unprofessional. However, I was able to remain calm and diplomatic regardless of her personal attacks and complete disrespect.

This morning my alarm did not go off and I woke up "late". Anyone that knows me, knows that late for me is still early. LOL I like to be everywhere early so I had no worries I still had plenty of time to get to work on time so there was no need to panic or rush. However, when I got on the freeway there was an accident less than three miles from my starting point on the freeway which had all lanes closed down and everyone going to the right shoulder. The result was that it took twice as long to travel that short distance than it typically took me to get to work! (I am not finished yet). I finally realized the need to call my boss whereas this is only my third week at a new job and I was already late the previous Friday due to the aforementioned fiasco. I would also like to mention that I was never late during my tenure at my previous employer which spanned over two years. I finally got to work, thankfully only about 20 minutes late. It was then that I realized I had left my cooler which had my breakfast, snacks, lunch, and dinner inside it.

My point to all this is that through both these mornings I chose to continue to rejoice and praise God for the breath I breathe and the freedom I have both physically in this great nation and emotionally as a result of the work done on the cross. I would like to clarify that I do not write all of this to boast, but rather to share in the great joy I now have inside me.

I have never done this before, but if you are reading this and you would like to know more about my transformation, where I have come from, and where God is taking me feel free to contact me and I would love to talk. Now it may take some scheduling, but we can make it work. Anyway I leave you all with hope...hope that through all your trials and tribulations there is hope. I pray blessings over all who read this and I am grateful to have the few moments of your time you give. Thank you.

P.S. - An individual through all of the situation with my car advised me I need to get "rowdy" to get the money reimbursed for the towing of my vehicle. By this he provided uninvited examples of raising my voice while using profanity and threats. I think we all know (even if deep down inside) that this unhealthy response is no good for anyone and even if it got results ultimately is wrong.

I tried so hard...

2011-01-20T22:54:00.000-06:00

So just over two years ago when I began attending my current church I would go in, mingle, worship, listen to the message, take notes, etc. Then I would leave and go about living just as the world lives. Then the conviction began, notice I said conviction and NOT condemnation.

At that point I began trying harder to stop doing the things that I knew were sinful behavior and and damaging myself and putting a wedge between myself and God. I kept failing so I tried harder! I might go a few days, then maybe weeks; but all in all I would still fail miserably. So I tried even HARDER! It was so frustrating. Whereas the distance between those times would increase it was so tiring to work so hard to "be good". Then one day...

Finally one day I surrendered. I gave over control. Not to say it was all instantaneous and I had no more failure, but it became less tiresome. I gave my heart to God.

You see it is all an issue of the heart, nothing external. Some will disagree with me but is not about wearing slacks to church, or not wearing a hat in the presence of the Lord. Do not get me wrong we must show reverence to the Lord, but it is a condition of the heart. If you try to add anything or take anything away from the cross you corrupt the very essence of the gospel message.

If we give Him our heart then He will begin the work on our souls and our bodies. It will take time which is where God teaches us patience through waiting. "Waiting is an exercise of faith that demonstrates the condition of our hearts. Waiting on God is an act of faith."1 By resting in Him it becomes almost effortless. I would be lying if I said it is always easy and there is never any concern. We do after all live in a fallen world and we (even ourselves) are amongst nothing but sinners. However, if you never truly surrender your heart then you will never experience the joy and peace that I now do in life.

Care to join me?

Notes

1. Steve Farrar, God Built, (David Cook, 2008), 139

Additional Scripture References

Ephesians 2:8-9

2 Peter 1:3-11

Who I have become...

2011-01-20T00:00:00.000-06:00

The title of this post is such a common phrase used in our society. Yet I believe that it is used out of context

most of the time. We (myself included) make that statement as though we have transformed into this new person and progressed beyond whatever bondage, oppression, and sin was previously in our lives. It implies that we ourselves have done something positive in our own effort to get past all the junk from our past and be a better person.

This is all wrong!

It should not be "who I have become" but rather "becoming who I am".

Although it is a process that we must go through it is more about us experiencing healing in our lives (physical, emotional, mental, etc.) that leads to the progressive sanctification of becoming who God intended us to be all along. The person He had in mind when he so carefully designed us down to every minute detail. It is truly about total surrender and submission to His will.

We live in a fallen world. We make mistakes. Circumstances can wear on us. The weight of this fallen world can seem to hold us down. We become someone we are not designed to be.

Now which will you proclaim from this day forward?

"Look who I have become." (Pride)

or

"Look I am becoming who I am!" (Submission)

Are you prepared for a harmonious future?

2011-01-09T13:02:00.000-06:00

Have you truly let the past go?

It is highly important that you be honest with yourself. If you are dragging dead weight from your past it will greatly hinder you from reaching what is ahead of you for this new year and the rest of your life.

If you have issues with other people that are unresolved you need to take care of those immediately. I said immediately! Do not write yourself a note and consider doing it when you have time. Drop what you are doing (which at this time is reading my blog! HAHA I gotcha) and call or go see that individual and make things right. The scripture tells us to not let the sun go down on our anger in Ephesians 4:26. How many times has the sun set while you were still angry or had some unresolved issues with someone?

Now if you say you passed that portion of the survey then let us move on to YOU! Have you forgiven yourself for your errors of the past? I mean have you really let it all go so that you can be who God designed you to be and use the gifts He has given you to impact those around you for the Kingdom!? You need to reconcile with God, because He reconciled with you 2010 years ago on a cross. What He did on that day was put all the issues (past, present, and future) behind you and He expects you to come to Him so you can face the future together. God's mercy and grace are new every morning as a result of Jesus dying on the cross. Every morning when we awaken God declares us righteous, justified, and forgiven. It is as though we never sinned. Do you receive that?

Don't give up, be INTENTIONAL!

2011-01-03T06:38:00.000-06:00

Do you have a Jericho in your life?

Of course you do, we all do. The key to defeating your Jericho is to complete all seven laps! What would have happened if Joshua and the Israelites had not completed all seven laps around their Jericho? They would have not only failed to defeat the city, but would have been the laughing stock of the world at that time. I mean who would march around a city led by the band trying to defeat their enemy? However, since they chose to be obedient to the commands of God they have a story of victory that is known worldwide and has endured for centuries.

With this new year upon us I challenge and encourage you to be diligent and intentional with all that you do. If you walk away with anything from any post I have ever written please let the following two points sink in.

Through radical obedience and patient endurance our actions show our faith and God will work miracles in our life.
Be intentional about all you do. Intentional thoughts, intentional actions, even when you are speaking to another individual be intentional about speaking to their heart.

Anthropomorphic beings...

2011-01-01T11:43:00.001-06:00

How many of you want to be representatives with human attributes and characteristics; or to be anthropomorphic? I would guess most of you would be content with that. Now let me ask you this...how many of you want to be representatives with Christlike attributes and characteristics? Whether you are a Christian or not, I believe most people still view Jesus as having been a good person and someone we could all aspire to be.

The great news here is that once we come into agreement with the gospel and give over our lives to Him we are made new and can move beyond an anthropomorphic life. It is clearly stated in Galatians 5:24.

With that being said I do not want to sit here and tell you that once you accept Jesus as your personal Saviour that all your sinful thoughts just vanish like dust int he wind. Now in some cases that has happened, but more often than not you will continue to struggle. You may win the battle repeatedly for days, weeks, or months. However, temptation will be there. In fact the longer you lived in sin the longer it will take to reprogram your thoughts and actions. (Again there are exceptions to this, but I want to encourage those that struggle to not give up).

For example, if you lived a life in the porn industry (or even as a stripper) for any extended period of time then not only did you allow toxic thoughts to enter your mind you committed physical actions that were toxic as well. The enemy will use those against you.

Now we can use this time as we enter into a new year start fresh. Now I know that our God is eternal and so our calendar year is minuscule to Him, but it can still be a time when decide to surrender to Him and let all the past go. God does not want us looking back, we need to continually be moving forward. Throughout most aspects of life, things that are not growing are dying. So are you growing?

Now you see me, now you don't...

2010-12-31T21:21:00.001-06:00

Due to not being aware of any true encounter with God in life, many individuals have allowed doubt and lack of faith creep into their lives. Oftentimes I have heard, if there is a God I would see Him. I could just say look around, but that will be for another post another time. Do you really have to see something to believe in it? True faith that something exists is what I am talking about.

Do you believe in snow? Do you believe in the sun? Do you believe there is blood pumping through your veins? Seriously...when it is 106° outside do you still believe in snow? When the darkness of night overtakes the atmosphere do you still believe in the sun? When there are no lacerations, abrasions, or any other open wounds on your skin do you still believe there is blood pumping through your veins?

Now I know what some of you may be saying..."I have seen all those before, I have never seen God." OK you got me...or did you?

Have you ever seen the process of a tree becoming paper? Have you ever seen the formation of a kidney stone? No?

Then kidney stones must be fictional right? Paper surely does not come from trees, it must just appear as paper.

I think you get the point...just think about it, pray about it.

Until next year.

Krystal Finish Car Wash...are you parked in the garage or are you doing what you were created for?

2010-12-15T09:18:00.001-06:00

This morning I went to the car wash to remove from the hood of my car the unpleasantly large gift left by what was apparently a large flock of birds. TMI? Sorry.

Anyway...while I was using the high pressure thrust of the water to remove the aforementioned aerodynamic obstructions from my vehicle the Lord was showing me something about our own lives. As I washed the dirt and filth away I noticed several new blemishes from chips, to scratches, and scrapes in numerous areas. Whereas my initial reaction was one of lackluster emotions including frustration, disappointment, maybe even a dash of anger I quickly stopped to ask myself why.

Take every thought captive...

I know, I know. Some of you are now thinking that I have gone super-spiritual. Hear me out. What good does it do to have any negative emotions about something so minor? I get it, you pay tens of thousands of dollars for something and we are told to be good stewards of what God blesses us with. I get that. However, I have no control over what others do when parked next to my vehicle. Those emotions and thoughts can do no good! They are all negative!

Something else God spoke to me through this was that even the vehicles that have pristine bodies and look like new on the outside...well those same vehicles still have the same internal wear and tear from mileage, weather, and other elements that effect them. None of this can be avoided unless you leave your vehicle parked inside and never use it.

So what are you doing with your life? Are you parked safely in your garage?
Why not get out and do what you were designed to do? Even the most beautiful individuals in this world have junk on the inside. We ALL have suffered. We all have hurt. We all have endured losses. Even so you can still live in freedom and enjoy the beautiful world which we have been given. So stop trying to look so good. Find your group of friends with which you can be transparent and honest and talk about the junk on the inside. That is the only way you will truly ever find healing. That is what Jesus died on the cross for, why He came to earth in the form of man. He understands and He wants to heal and restore our hearts and souls.

That is all I have to say....

Pilgrim Pride or Humble Pie

2010-11-25T22:25:00.001-06:00

As this Thanksgiving day is rapidly coming to a close I have been reflecting on the last year. It has been the most amazing year of my entire life. The physical and emotional healing that God has done in my life would have previously been unimaginable had you asked me one year ago. The emotional, psychological, mental, spiritual, and yes even physical growth I have experienced over the last year has been miraculous as you consider where I have been in life. At this point in my life I could give you a long list of current circumstances in my life that would have had me stressed, worried, angry, and bitter (just to name a few) just twelve months ago. In fact, my overall circumstances in life were much better than they currently are and I still allowed many of the aforementioned emotions and feelings to control my life at this time last year. However, today I can say I am joyful and at peace with myself and my life. I am also being used daily to impact peoples lives in incredibly positive ways. With all that being said you might say that I would have every right to be proud...

I disagree.

I am utterly and completely humbled. All this is a result of my dying to myself daily and surrendering my life to Christ. I finally have a thorough understanding of giving up complete control to Him. Finances, time, relationships, emotions....I mean everything. Do I do this every minute of every day? I try...yet I am human. At times my flesh takes over but, the key to it all is intentionally correct this as soon as you become aware. Take every thought captive. It takes radical obedience. As a result, I am shown very often the the positive impact I am having on the lives of those I come in contact with. ALL if this is only possible by my surrendering to God and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide and direct my thoughts and actions.

...and that my friends is why I choose to eat humble pie rather than walk with pilgrim pride, because NONE of this is possible on my own. So today I am thankful first and foremost for the grace and mercy of our God and the work Jesus did to save my soul.

I know it is daunting...

2010-11-03T10:55:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been faced with the daunting task of restoring something that is old, rundown, falling apart? Something that is in the poorest condition after years of abuse and being misused? Was it discouraging just thinking about it? I can relate. Sometimes we never complete the task...maybe we never even start the task.

Well, I am here to talk about something that was abused, mistreated, malnourished, etc. All of this went on for well over a decade. Can you imagine the condition of something after more than ten years of this? How do you view that looking, feeling, projecting to others?

You know what that something is? My soul...

For years sexual immorality, drugs, alcohol, gossip, slander, manipulation, tearing others down, making fun, etc. These are the things I was doing and/or exposed to for over ten years. The very thing that is a gift to us all I abused. I filled it with lust, lasciviousness, envying, revellings, etc. Corrupting my soul to the point of disgust...

However, you know what? There is someone that took on the task of restoring my soul. No band aids, no layers of paint to cover it up....true and actual restoration. That is amazing! Where I am today is amazing. In fact I am lucky to not be dead. There were times in my past where I mixed three or more drugs together of which just one has killed individuals in the past. There were times when my sexual immorality was that of epic proportion that would disgust most anyone...you know what? None of that matters. I have been restored.

God is amazing and mighty to love us all so much that our sin can not compare to His grace and mercy.

Everyone forgives, albeit posthumously...

2010-10-17T21:57:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I feel that individuals keep trying to fix something without knowing the root cause of the problem. I know for a fact that I have done this myself on many occasions and as a human on this earth will likely fall victim to this very act again. For, example a lack of feelings of self-worth, belonging, [insert your own personal struggle here], etc. Below is a great example found in an excerpt from a sermon taught by Matt Chandler of The Village Church.

"Recovering sight is what Jesus is going to bring in the gospel. I don't know that you can get through life without being hurt and wounded by something. You know, daddy didn't hug you well enough. And it's really not your daddy's fault. Dr. Hannah was here this week for a pastor's conference. He told a great story about his wife when she was sixteen—mowed the lawn, trying to surprise her daddy, and she left this one little strip undone. And when her daddy got home, he re-mowed the whole lawn. But he was a very loving man and loved her and encouraged her, but in that one instant, the devil grabbed that, just grabbed that; and now she can't do it well enough. Just that one little thing, despite all this evidence to the contrary. So getting hurt, and getting wounded—it messes up your sight so you can't see. So then what ends up happening is you don't want to forgive because if you forgive, you're going to let them off the hook. And you can't let them off the hook—never being able to see that the only one you're really hurting is you. Or getting bitter and angry and wanting vengeance, never being able to see that the only soul that's being tore up is yours. And so Jesus goes on and on—“I'm going to give you eyes to see.”"

As you can see that one event was used to cause years of painful memories and false perceptions of not being able to do things well enough or up to high standards. So be sure to be aware of your actions and more importantly your words. Our words carry power that is so much more than we can comprehend. Our actions too carry power and even our eyes hold great power. When you speak to others speak with intentionality to their hearts with positive and encouraging words.

P.S. - I just finished going through some of my older posts from 2008 and even in my writing (and obviously those posts triggering memories of that time) I have grown so much as a person in the last two years it is incredible. It just goes to show the process is in full effect.

Alterity is what I want...

2010-10-17T00:02:00.000-05:00

What is the difference? ...between me and everyone else you know.

Many people that know me may answer that question by saying "nothing".

I wholly desire that everyone that knows me (and those that do not know me that I simply come in contact with) would answer the opposite.

I realize that there is but an interstice between my alterity and me being utterly familiar to those that encounter my presence in my life. That interstice is simply the difference between radical obedience and selective obedience. I want to be radically obedient at all times. Even if this radical obedience causes non believers to call me a Bible thumper or even if it causes my friends at church to call me a super-spiritual geek. None of this matters. Assiduous attention should be paid to our actions in life.

Jesus had asked that we consume Him; be preoccupied with Him day and night. That is what I want. I want to make a difference in this life. A difference in the life of my son Andrew, his mother (and her family), my family, my friends, my church, my community, and the world. This is all possible through radical obedience. The amazing transition in my life over the last two years is only possible by the amazing work of the Spirit residing in me. With that indwelling is the power invested in me! That power in vested in me will constantly work to change me from the inside out if I surrender myself to that power.

Here is something I heard from Matt Chandler that I would like to share:

"...there is a pursuit of Jesus Christ, a progressive sanctification that pulls us into the fullness of what He has for us until He calls us home and perfects us in all things." -Matt Chandler

Not sure about you, but I find that beautiful and encouraging. That progressive sanctification is what carries me onward knowing that I will continually become a better man through Him after seeing the positive changes over the last two years of my life. The freedom I experience today is only a sliver of what he designed me to experience.

"A man has to squeeze past the cross to get into hell." - Richard C. Halverson (1916-1995) U.S. Senate Chaplain

Talking, thinking, doing...

2010-09-21T18:22:00.000-05:00

Are you a talker?
...or are you a thinker and a doer?

I think oftentimes we talk a lot about what others are doing and how great that is? I also believe that oftentimes we talk about what we are going to do and do not do it. You may feel led to go pray for someone for healing. Do you do it? I know recently I was talker...and that was all I did.

I can personally tell you of an instance where I was a talker and not a mover and shaker. Now with this being common in our society you may be asking what the big deal is. Well for me, at this time in my life I feel that I am to be going boldly out into the world to be a part of the walking revival that is taking place. What revival you ask? Well, if you know me personally that is all the more reason that I should be doing my part! I sincerely feel that I am being called to be much more bold in my life in reference to not only sharing the gospel, but simply showing Christ's love to everyone I come in contact with.

Just earlier this month I went on a mini road trip (thanks to a good friend of mine providing my fuel and meals). Well, the individuals with whom we were staying had an incident just one day prior to our arrival that caused the wife to be hospitalized. During a Messianic service I attended the Friday evening that I was to drive up there I received a word to pray over her for complete and total healing. I heard God, shared what I heard, even asked a member the altar team to cover me in prayer for the journey ahead. Later that evening I began the journey...Sunday afternoon I began the journey home.

You may be asking what happened in between. I can tell you that I did not take the opportunity I was provided (upon two trips to the hospital) to pray for healing for this wonderful daughter of God. Why you ask? Looking back I do not know why. Essentially it does not matter why. I was disobedient.

Why did I share this with you all? I suppose one aspect was public confession and the other part is to be transparent to anyone else reading this that has done the same thing. Do not beat yourself up. The past is the past. Move on, learn from it and let us go out into the world and share the love, grace, and mercy which have been extended to us.

Ritual idols or idle rituals...

2010-08-24T22:36:00.002-05:00

Do you raise your hands during worship? Do you pray out loud?

Why? Why do you do these things? Is your heart in it?

Often times the aforementioned actions are done to impress those around you. Or maybe you do those things to hide the lies of your "private" life and private sin from others. Or you do them just because you feel like it is what you are supposed to do. When this occurs these all become ritual idols. You spend so much time thinking about these things that they themselves become an idol.

Others may be thinking that there is no need to raise your hands during worship or no need to pray out loud. Be careful, do not let these actions become idle rituals either. There is meaning behind the lifting of our hands. It shows surrender and we are designed to worship. Just send anyone to a sporting event, concert, (or whatever it is that gets someone excited. You scream, raise your hands, jump up and down, just to name a few). Praying out loud (or even just speaking confessions out loud) are necessary. The power of our words is incredible. I was unaware of this myself until just this last year. That is why it is so important to speak life in to others. Speak into their hearts intentionally to exhort and encourage them. Even speaking of yourself and your own life requires positive words and thoughts in order to nourish the fruit that you are capable of bearing!

You have to put your heart into all you do. Otherwise these outward actions simply become just that. If it comes down to the Christian life; are the outward actions not the easy part?
I say yes and I know this from experience. It is simple to show up raise your hands during worship, tell everyone how great you are doing and then go out get drunk, sleep with someone, and deal with depression alone in bed later in the week. So where was your heart in all of that? Why not do the difficult part and truly surrender your heart and let these "rituals" not only be physical actions but get the spirit involved. Even those that are not Christian believe in a spiritual realm. In fact many of them put their hearts more into what they do and believe than many Christians.

It is time for Christians to get past the easy part and get to work. As long as you have breath you should be living deeply and surrendering that life to Him. If we all truly put our hearts in and surrendered our will we could truly change the world.

Are you in?

Regain a clear perspective....

2010-08-10T21:28:00.011-05:00

I feel like that is what God is wanting me to do these days. He has been doing such an amazing work in my heart over the last month.

For several months now he has been telling me to be a better steward. Not only of my finances, but of everything He has blessed me with. My job, time, friends, family, health, etc. I feel that I have been doing a great job of being a better steward in all areas...but we all know God will allow trials to enter our lives in order to stretch us as individuals and make us more mature in the physical realm as well as the spiritual.

Well, Friday July 30th my income dropped over $12,000.00 year. This is a significant amount of my net income. This happening at a time when my insurance renewal is due, vehicle maintenance is rapidly approaching, the need for new tires seem to be on the horizon, and that is just expenses related to my car! Needless to say, this is one of those trials. It was extremely discouraging initially, but I have an amazing peace about it now. This peace could only come from God being that my income is now less than my expenses. However, I know that God is my provider and I will get through this.

Two to three years ago I would have allowed this trial to become a temptation with my thoughts. I would have gotten discouraged and likely gone to a bar to try to medicate with alcohol to "make it all better". I am not talking about going on a drinking spree and finding myself passed out in a gutter somewhere or waking up in the back of a truck with a new tattoo. No, not that kind of medicating. Simply going to the bar and having a few drinks which would then likely lead to a few cigarettes and too little sleep before waking up the next morning for work. Some of you may say, "What's the harm in that?" Well, as a result of those actions I would have spent money that I should be utilizing for groceries, fuel, rent, etc. It was a vicious cycle that I still sometimes wonder how I got through. Now I realize that the way out of temptation is to endure it as a trial, never allow your thoughts to turn it into a temptation by taking every thought captive, and endure all trials with joy!

So now I ask you...do you too need to regain a clear perspective of things?

Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic...

2010-08-09T22:02:00.001-05:00

So I realize it has been a while since I have written a post. So much has happened since then. There is much to rejoice about! Will you rejoice with me?

I will start with some great things about my son Andrew. I have kind of kept him out of the blog for a while, but this is worth sharing. Recently he graduated pre-K; at that time they had a math test of 100 problems of addition and subtraction. The children were then told they had five minutes to complete as many problems as they could. Well, my son Andrew completed all 100 and got them all correct! How incredibly exciting and awesome is that! WOOOHOOOOOO! I got to talk to him about it and he spoke to me longer than he ever had previously. We must have talked for a total of fifteen minutes or more. He told me about a medal he got and then he sang to me! It was incredible. Then a couple of weeks ago when we spoke he was reading with his mother when I called. So when he got on the phone he asked if I would like for him to read to me. Almost unable to contain myself I said YES! He then proceeded to read an entire book to me with hesitation on one word. God has truly blessed his mother and I with a brilliant child! Thank you LORD!

Breath of life...feed the fire...

2010-07-08T22:49:00.000-05:00

Breath brings life...

God took dust from the earth and with the breath of life formed man. (Genesis 2:7) He also provided the breath of life to bring dry bones in the valley to life. (Ezekial 37:9 - 10)

Are you asking how we get the breath of life? It is easy. You read His word. It is our breath of life. It will cleanse the soul, mend the heart, strengthen us emotionally, etc. The power of the living Word is beyond limitation as we know it. It will cause a fire to burn within us, feeding our passions ans desires that are God given.

Once that fire is ignited you then need to feed the fire. One way of doing so is to live life with godly people. Keep them close and dear. Share your struggles so they can support you through prayer. Share you successes so they can rejoice and praise with you! This is one of many ways to feed the fire.

I for one am very grateful for the people I have had brought into my life through divine appointments over the last two to three months. In fact just this evening I spent several hours with some great friends. We typically have a worship/jam session on Thursdays, but we were unable to do so this week. However, instead of calling it a wash and doing our own thing we decided to meet up anyway. I am so glad we did. It was a time to share with one another where we are in life, struggles and successes. Confident leaps of faith and areas of uncertainty. Then we prayed for one another in each of those areas and as led even more. It is great to have the support both in the physical realm as well as the spiritual realm to walk through life with.

With all that being said I am off to bed now whereas I will be up and at 'em in less than six hours whereas I am leaving tomorrow for cAMPed to be a counselor for the summer youth camp. I am very excited for what God is going to do in the lives of the youth. I am blessed to be able to be a part of it as well. Until next time keep focused on Him and the power of His might, whereas He can and will provide all you need.

False presupposition...

2010-06-26T02:07:00.000-05:00

Do you ever find yourself boasting about future events? Yeah me too. Should we? Absolutely not. Should we faithfully plan for a better tomorrow for ourselves, our family, and friends? Absolutely. We should simply do so in humility, faith, and with much gratitude.

The reason I write this is; what if you sustain a fatal bite from a viper? I know what some of you may be saying...there are no vipers around me. Well more specifically it was a highly venomous snake that sank its fangs deep into his flesh and injected a fatal amount of poison. What did Paul do? He shook it off. Will you do the same if this occurred?

Could your viper be a devastating tornado, drunk driver hitting you, or heart failure? Let's even tone it down a notch. What if your viper is losing your job, losing your home, losing your significant other...
Will you allow that circumstance to gain control of your life or will you remain steadfast in thanking our Father for His inherent goodness?

My intention here is not to be pessimistic, but rather realistic. Ultimately we have no control of life; we exist within God's eternal plan. For example, maybe you heard about the horrific accident that the New York Giants draft pick was involved in today. He was a football and baseball star at LSU. He had previously been drafted into Major League Baseball and turned it down to pursue a football career. Two weeks ago he signed his contract after being drafted in the third round in Aprils NFL draft. Less than 48 hours from now he was going to be attending the 2010 rookie symposium and begin his life as a professional football player. Then today he almost lost his leg to amputation. Now the outcome will rely on his reaction to the circumstances.

If or when the viper bites you, will you shake it off and move forward in life with faith and joy or will you allow the poison to seep into your veins and kill you off?

Life's lacuna...(the solution)

2010-05-30T10:08:00.000-05:00

I want to preface this post by stating that last Tuesday was a ministry night for leaders and emergin leaders within the church. During that time Alan Smith had an amazing word for me that spoke directly to my heart at just the right time in my life. It gave me a new perspective on life in general and has been yet another turning point in my life that I can add to all the great advances that are occurring in my life over the last couple of years.

Memorial Day Weekend, this used to be one of my favorite weekends because there were plenty of parties. For me this weekend consisted of ingesting drugs, alcohol, and likely times of being sexually immoral...oftentimes with multiple partners (or the same numerous times). Sounds fun right? Wrong!

None of it was ever enough. Tuesday (if I even made it in that day) I would drag myself into work feeling as though Mike Tyson had his way with me in the ring. All for what? To go out again Tuesday night after work to try to fill the glaring lacuna in my life with more drugs or alcohol? A lot of the aforementioned actions have become common actions in our society and are now considered to be a part of life. It all saddens me. To top it all off these actions are slowly destroying our bodies. Not to say a healthy lifestyle does not wear on these temporary physical beings we inhabit. But, why would we want to speed the process or even increase those effects exponentially?

This weekend the only parties I have been to were filled with worship. By surrendering in this manner I allow God to increase in my life. This has been a truly fulfilling weekend thus far without the use of drugs, alcohol, or sex. Worshiping Adonai the King of all Kings. It started out yesterday with Kari Jobe leading worship and I have to tell you the presence of the Holy Spirit was so thick in that place I had an intimate encounter with our mighty creator!

After church I went to a park in Grapevine where we celebrated a going away party for a friend of mine that has been called to go to the Philippines. It was a great time of fellowship where I met several other great people and some of those connections may very well turn into life long friendships. God is great how he brings people together in such ways. We finished off the evening with a few hours of worship. During that time we sang a song that included lyrics about increasing God and decreasing me. Again I had an incredible encounter with our God!

This morning I woke up exhausted, but not like the days of drunken debauchery and partying like there is no tomorrow ingesting toxins of all kinds into my body. No this time was different. It was an exhaustion that felt like freedom. I do not know how to put this into words so I would not expect anyone that has not had a personal encounter with God to understand. Well, let me put it this way...
as soon as I finish this post I will be going to play football with friends...does sound like a hungover, painful exhaustion/ I did not think so. I digress...anyway I woke up and began to speak confessions over my son Andrew for protection and abundant living. Listening to more praise music and yet again had an encounter that made the room thick!

What is the point of this post?

Increase God...Decrease yourself...Encounter God...

Inundated mind...

2010-05-23T06:01:00.002-05:00

Well, I know it has been a long time since I have posted anything here and for that I apologize. In our society, it is quite common that we get so caught up in our day to day routine that we rarely have a moment when we do not have some "important" matter inundating our minds. I too fell victim to this.
The good news is that I am now moving beyond that point! I am beginning a new season in my life. I just auspiciously moved and I am quickly getting settled into my new place. In addition to this, a lot has happened in my life over the last two and half years and I can honestly say that I am in a better place and doing better as a person than I have in well over a decade. I am looking to get back to writing more often and sharing my thoughts with you all by 'Typing Out Loud'. I hope I have not lost all my readers and hope I can grow larger whereas I feel this is a tool that I am to use to reach out to others and impact my friends, acquaintances, the community, and even the world. I pray that you are all doing well and I look forward to continuing my journey in life and sharing it with you here.

...His grace is all I need...

2010-03-09T10:14:00.000-06:00

Lies, deceit, secrets, deception...

I think we can all agree that none of the aforementioned are going to lead to any positive progression in our lives. Yet we are human and our fleshiness will lead us all there at some point in our life. The key is moving on past it; not allowing those times to drag you down. You must also make a choice to turn your life around (repent) and stop those actions. You must realize that regardless of what you have done in the past you can be free and live the life you were designed to live. Oftentimes people believe that because of their past that they can never be a part of any kind of ministry or make a positive difference in the lives of those around them that they come in contact with. That is a complete and total lie.

In biblical historical times David is viewed as one of the greatest men of his time; and throughout all of history to this day. However, go read 2 Samuel 11-12. A mighty man of God, a favored king of a powerful and mighty nation, a righteous leader that was a role model for children...that lured a married women into his home, impregnated her, lied about it, tried to cover it up by using her own husband, then as a result of that plan backfiring on him essentially had her husband killed, and then married the widowed pregnant woman and tried to carry on as though nothing happened.

Eventually his lie was uncovered and his legacy would never be the same...or would it? As a result he did not continue the lie/when confronted he confessed the scandal rather than cover it up. While his confession did not remove the consequences of his lies, it did in fact provide David with freedom from the guilt and a hope for the future. (You can find more of this in Psalm 51)

The lie that is believed is that we are so messed up that we can not come to God and do any good. Well, David's example proves otherwise and shows what God truly wants of our lives. His desire is that we confess that we are messed up which will allow Him to begin a work in us to restore us to the individuals we were created to be!

I highly recommend listening (and or watching) to this sermon from Jimmy Evans on 'Knowing God's Will For Your Life'.

...in the end instead of the words that began this post describing attributes and characteristics of yourself they can instead be:
"...love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23)

Clothing hegemony and ominous obesity...

2010-02-06T19:55:00.000-06:00

So this was in interesting evening. After an amazing church service kicking off the new series "The One Thing" with Vernon Wells being the guest, I proceeded upstairs to go to the Bible study as I have so many times before. Only it was not happening tonight...LOL

So...

I proceeded to try to find something to do; it seemed as though every one had something going on. I thought I would go eat. Well, as I was driving I thought I would go check out Nordstram Rack whereas I have been told on numerous occasions it is a great place to shop. Well, I discovered a couple of things...

First, I must have horrible fashion sense. The reason I say that is because I would not wear most of the things I saw in there. I guess I am too much of a simple man for "true fashion" HAHAHA
Secondly, I had been told it was cheap (or at least more inexpensive) well from the prices I saw it must be the equivalent of a ROSS or T.J. Maxx for Bill Gates and Donald Trump. Again, I guess I am too much a simple man for "current fashion". I could buy a weeks worth of clothing for what one outfit would cost me there. I have not traveled enough to know for sure, but are we alone as a nation when it comes to this? It seems a bit ridiculous to me.

With all that having been said (or written) I am not knocking those of you who like to dress up with more current fashion, I mean most of you do look good. Anyway...moving on.

Next, I went to dinner...dinner for one. The problem is that dinner for one here in America seems to be more like dinner for two. At some point, I am thinking back in the eighties; it became a competitive advantage to have larger portions than the competitor. Well, now we are a gluttonous and fat nation (generally speaking). LOL

I'm just sayin'.

OK off my soap box for now.

Parallel posts from individuals unaware of the other....

2010-01-26T22:34:00.001-06:00

I realize I have not posted in quite some time and it is something I trying to get worked into an extremely hectic schedule that I have had in 2010. I am in class Monday through Thursday evening and get home late. Thursday begins early for me (4:00 A.M.) so I try to get to sleep earlier. Then Friday night I try to get out and do something relaxing. Then the weekends too have been packed full of training, classes, groups, etc. I believe my schedule will loosen up here int he next few weeks. Anyway, I digress...

below are two links to two different posts from two different individuals that are not even connected in any way. However, these two posts should cause you to think and reflect more before being so quick to judge those around us. Reminds me of Philippians 2:3-4.

Check these two posts out: One by Brad, someone I went to high school with back in the day. The other by Babs, whom I do not know personally. But, she is a sister in Christ!

Bereft of gluttony leading to satiety...

2010-01-03T00:52:00.000-06:00

So the last month I had been under severe attack and it was a very difficult time for me to remain positive and optimistic. Well, that time is over!

Last and first of year offerings to Him and my first fruit offerings through denying and devoting (fasting) are already paying off in dividends! Whereas it was much more than I had anticipated or ever previously given up; I know that as a result I will experience a great breakthrough in an area(s) of my life as a result of my obedience.

The First Conference has been incredible this far and I look forward to the remainder of it. I wish I could take the next three days off just to focus on the devotional and The Word in preparation for the message. When pressing into Him over the last three days I am encouraged to further my actions with great fervor.

Impetuous behaviors...

2010-01-01T11:41:00.000-06:00

Let me start by telling any and all readers happy new year. So December was a truly rocky month for me emotionally, spiritually, physically, psychologically, and physiologically. What? You think I am a mess? Well, we all are if you want to be honest with yourself. One thing I can say is that over the last year I have made huge strides to being more healthy in all the aforementioned areas and I am. However, life is a continual process of progressive sanctification and I am aware of that. I know that at this time last year and especially just 18 months ago I was doing drugs, getting drunk often, and very promiscuous to top it all off. Well, thankfully I can say those days are behind me, but now time to work on resolving other problems...again this growth should be progressive.

This brings me to an issue with which I have gotten much better than I was, say fifteen years ago yet still need some work in this area. Whereas my impetuous behaviors are typically good and work to better myself and those around me, there are times when it does the opposite. Even though they are rare occasions the pain inflicted upon those that are closest and dearest to me it tremendous. Kind of ironic too that as I have brought up that I am working on issues of hurting those close to me; three different friends of mine have the initial response of "no you do not".

A part of me is glad that people see me that way whereas I try to live my life in a way that can be a witness to how Jesus lived his life. But, the reality of it is that I am a mess inside. Our most righteous actions are but the equivalent of a dirty rag. The reality of it all is that I have issues like everyone else and I want to work on them to correct them, deal with them, receive the necessary healing, and move on! With that being said I am choosing now to confront these issues head on! 2010 will be a year where I experience even more freedom and stop hurting those closest to me and allow to build upon those relationships.

Avoiding modicum haughtiness...

2009-12-08T22:19:00.001-06:00

Easier said than done...the flesh pushes us towards being haughty consistently. It is easy as we continue on our journey of progressive sanctification that we may begin to judge others, even if it be actions that we ourselves used to commit regularly. Pride can easily be rooted and begin to grow and next thing you know we are acting as the Pharisees did thousands of years ago. Even the slightest bit of haughtiness is an ugly, ugly thing. That is why we should choose the Way. Before followers of Christ were referred to as Christians (Acts 11:26 ESV), they were called disciples of "the Way". The term, the Way, was especially used by Luke...could he foresee the future?

What I mean by that is this...how many "Christians" do you know? Or have you known? (I know I used to be one). I went around and claimed to be a Christian when the topic of religion was brought up. I was saved when I was young, baptized, etc. Yet, at some point in my life something shifted and I gave into the flesh. I was out heavily drinking on a consistent basis, doing drugs regularly, cursing profusely, abundantly participating in immoral sexual activities, etc. Now do not get me wrong, all struggle and fall short. I, however, was doing all these things by my own free will knowing from my upbringing that they were wrong. In March of 2008 I began attending church again thus renewing myself as a "Christian" as do many. The problem with that was that I had not changed my lifestyle (aside from attending church). I was living much like a narcissist according to the following definition: Narcissists - individuals that project a grandiose but false image of themselves. WOAH! Deep right.

That is why I feel that we should all be a part of "the Way". This term was brought about not long after the Great Commission. It referenced the way in which disciples of Christ were living their lives. Truly pursuing Jesus and His ways. Not just saying the right things, tithing, etc. Actually living their lives by what Jesus had taught.

I want that...I should show that I am a Christ follower by "the Way" I live. My life should reflect Jesus.

Now I know I will do things wrong in the future...the perfect world was fractured in the Garden of Eden. However, if we use our free will to really work on changing our lives to be more like Him then we can be a part of The Way! When we go to Jesus as the living water and the bread from heaven and the light of the world...we truly "follow" him and his teaching (we become disciples).

Jesus said, "Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God." - Matthew 3:8 (NLT)

Other scripture references of the Way: Acts 9:1; 11:26; 19:9,23; 22:4; 24:14,22 (ESV)

Daily Survival Kit

2009-12-02T21:28:00.005-06:00

Today, I am giving you a DAILY SURVIVAL KIT to help you each day............

Toothpick ... to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone,including yourself.
Rubber band ... to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want,
but it can be worked out.

Band-Aid ... to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.

Eraser ... to remind you everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we learn by our errors.

Candy Kiss ... to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment everyday.

Mint ... to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family & Me.

Bubble Gum ... to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.

Pencil ... to remind you to list your blessings every day.

Tea Bag ... to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over that list of God's blessings.

This is what makes life worth living every minute, every day

Wishing you love, gratitude, friends to cherish, caring, sharing, laughter, music, and
warm feelings in your heart.

Semblance of consistency...

2009-11-19T18:38:00.000-06:00

It is difficult for us as humans to understand the timing of occurrences and circumstances in our life. Our God is far above our concept of time to a point that is impossible to comprehend. One of the biggest challenges, especially when going through a rough season or various trials, is to keep an eternal perspective.

We may view something over a period of a few weeks as not to our liking, but as we allow more time to unfold what we initially viewed as insufficient could in fact become overwhelming. For example, look at the stock market. Just a few months ago many individuals (even "experts") were claiming that the stock market had breathed it final breath. Well, just look at the line graph of the stock market over an extended period of time. It is cyclical in nature and (depending on how much longer we are on this earth) it will likely drop immensely again. The same thing occurs if you are running reports at your job to view trends. When the reports first begin, things will be skewed tremendously by simple actions.

Let us use the following as another example. If you manage a call center and you begin to run reports on how many calls are being made daily then it seems to be a simple report. Now let us assume that there are well over one hundred agents working under you. In the first week that you begin the report one of your agents has an incident where his vehicle has mechanical issues on the way to work, which causes him to miss a day. Well at the end of the week you are going to see a significant difference in the amount of calls handled by that agent than the others that were present for the duration of the work week. But, if you pull the same report three months from now then you will get a much more accurate depiction of reality. I hope I am making sense and not confusing you further.

In conclusion, we have to keep it all in perspective that what occurs in a matter of days, weeks, months, years, or even decades is nothing more than a small niche of time in the big picture of things.

Never relinquish YOUR leadership role...

2009-11-17T06:39:00.002-06:00

Each and every one of us is a leader; we ALL touch the lives of others...no one can argue that. So in doing so should we not treat all of those whose lives we touch as sheep in our flock? Lead them, protect them, feed them, go after them when one strays, etc. Now, I know it is MUCH easier said than done, trust me, I struggle daily with the commandment of "love your enemy", but if we are not at least trying then how can we ever succeed? If you are attempting to win a marathon do you not have to try by training? If you are habitually late and you want to be early, do you not have to set an alarm? Without trying we would likely never reach any of our goals or aspirations.
- Ezekial 34:2-10

Additionally, we can have an impact on each and every individual in which we come in contact with. As reading this...some of you may be thinking that you have no impact on the world. Well, it is my great pleasure to tell you that you are listening to a lie! Whether we realize it or not we are impacting the lives of those around us. Therefore, we should live with integrity and be an example. So instead of dragging our feet as we journey through life we need to exercise self-control for the short time we have with others on this earth and use the time to encourage others and build them up!
- 1 Thessalonians 5:4-11

One of the most important things to remember as you come to realize that you are in fact a leader is to remain humble. Never let pride take over your mind, and more importantly your heart.

- Proverbs 27:21-22

Inordinate collusion...

2009-10-29T22:10:00.000-05:00

This is what the enemy has been doing to all of us since ancient times. Whereas the antiquity of the world is debatable the fact remains that we are being constantly attacked. Are you wearing the armor? (Ephesians 6:10-18) If not...you should be.

Oftentimes easier said than done because in our flesh we try so hard to handle everything on our own (especially as men).

That is really all I have at this time on the topic. I am hoping to get back to writing more often whereas I found it very therapeutic and relaxing when I did. Until next time...

Peace, love, and joy!

The Trip Home... (Author unknown)

2009-10-07T21:09:00.000-05:00

A pastor had been on a long flight between church conferences. The first warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on: Fasten Your seat belts. Then, after a while, a calm voice said, "We shall not be serving the beverages at this time as we are expecting a little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened."

As the pastor looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive. Later, the voice on the intercom said, "We are so sorry that we are unable to serve the meal at this time. The turbulence is still ahead of us."

And then the storm broke . . .

The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines. Lightning lit up the darkening skies, and within moments that great plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean. One moment the airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if were about to crash.

The pastor confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around him. He said, "As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the passengers were upset and alarmed. Some were praying. The future seemed ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm.

"Then, I suddenly saw a little girl. Apparently the storm meant nothing to her. She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat; she was reading a book and every thing within her small world was calm and orderly..

"Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would straighten her legs, but worry and fear were not in her world. When the plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm when it lurched this way and that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity, when all the adults were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and unafraid." The minister could hardly believe his eyes.

It was not surprising that when the plane finally reached its destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark, our pastor lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time. Having commented about the storm and the behavior of the plane, he asked why she had not been afraid.

The child replied, "Cause my Daddy's the pilot, and he's taking me home."

There are many kinds of storms that buffet us. Physical, mental, financial, domestic, and many other storms can easily and quickly darken our skies and throw our plane into uncontrollable movement. We have all known such times, and let us be honest and confess, it is much easier to be at rest when our feet are on the ground than when we are being tossed about a darkened sky.

Let us remember: Our Father is the Pilot.. He is in control and taking us home. Don't worry!

Seasonal quiddity...

2009-09-22T23:03:00.000-05:00

...that is exactly what today was here in north Texas. It was truly amazing how the first day of Autumn brought such cool weather that I can assure you was welcomed by most. After the storms last night and the cold front that moved in today the weather was phenomenal.

Leadership...

2009-09-17T11:00:00.000-05:00

First, I want to thank Brad for the opportunity that he gave to me to be a guest blogger. This was the first time I had been asked to do so by anyone and I was honored to do so. With that being said, let us dig right in.
One of the most important aspects of Leadership to me is serving others. Did I lose some of you? I know that in our society oftentimes when one thinks of being a leader hey think of having all the power, delegating responsibilities, and having others serve you. Is that really what it is all about though? I think not.

I believe part of the foundation of Christ's teachings was caring for others and being compassionate servants to those that not only need our support, but to those that need our leadership. (Matthew 20:26-28) I think as believers we would all agree that Jesus was the ultimate leader throughout history and he served and eventually even died for us all. (John 10:11)

Another very important part of leadership while serving others is to remain transparent. It can be discouraging for those that follow you to see how "great" your life is; free of struggles, sorrow, and pain. By being transparent and even allowing there to be vulnerability by sharing your struggles with others it will allow them to see that they are not alone in their struggles.

I think all too often new believers come along (or even those that do not believe that are watching us) and they see strength, power, joy, etc. Then when they see others struggling with life it opens the door of the enemy to fill them with lies about how they are not "good enough" to be a leader themselves.

I sincerely and passionately believe, if we serve those around us and remain vulnerable and honest about the struggles we encounter in life that we can change the perception of a generation. Thus allowing them to see the true gospel. Once this is accomplished then we can lead more to salvation which in turn leads to inner healing and moves on to preparing those same individuals for discipleship to go out and spread the gospel and minster to others. You may be the President of a division in your company or the barista at your local Starbucks...either way you ARE a leader and should work hard every day to be the best leader you can be. As we continue to surrender to His will; He will continue to do works in us that will allow us to become the leader he has specifically and uniquely designed us all to be!

Do YOU take it all for granted?

2009-09-11T04:56:00.005-05:00

I have to be honest...more often than not I do. What will it take for us to learn? Personally, I believe I need another trip to a third world country as I did when I was 13 and I went to Peru. We get caught in this fictitious reality that the world is as WE see it. We have to realize that in the time you will read this post someone died from lack of clean water, someone else is waking up in their home because it is raining on them due to having no roof, someone else is being beaten (possibly to death) because they chose a religious view contradictory to what their government feels is "acceptable"...

All of this being done while companies and organizations that could help to solve and/or eliminate these problems spend millions (and some billions) of dollars advertising in hopes of making more profit. It simply does not make sense to me....but some of you will say "who cares". I do...

Additionally, while you are reading this there are Americans putting their lives on the line to keep us safe and free. Soldiers in other nations; police officers, paramedics, and firemen in your own city; and possibly even your own father/brother/husband in your own household.

On this historic day we need to all think about where we are and what we have placed as priorities in our life. I am as guilty as the next person so let us take the time to really consider what we do to make a positive difference in the lives of those we come in contact with and others worldwide. Instead of spending numerous hours on social networking sites could you volunteer your time to those in need...or even read a book/magazine/newspaper to better educate yourself in something to make a difference.

...anyway I am beginning to ramble on a soapbox...the point of this post is an attempt to get us all to really look within ourselves and see if we are truly doing our part to make changes. We may all have complaints about our nation, but watch this video and tell me if you truly believe we have it so badly.

Non-smoking...

2009-08-30T14:30:00.002-05:00

honestly I can not count how many times I had "quit" smoking in my life prior to the most recent, which was a few months ago. However, this time there is something different. Previously (if brought up in conversation) I would say, "I am trying to quit, it has been [fill in the blank] days, weeks, months, etc." The difference this time is that for the first time in over fifteen years, I actually think of myself as a nonsmoker! It happened a few days ago when I was the gym and my mind was wondering and covering all kinds of topics (as it always does 24/7). It was at that moment that the thought went through my mind that I am actually a nonsmoker. Now if I could only get back into the habit of consistently exercising...

Tomorrow

2009-08-29T08:06:00.001-05:00

Let’s talk about tomorrow—today. What will your tomorrow be like?

Tomorrow could bring death. From the moment we’re born, we’re dying. Someone has said that death is one appointment you may postpone, but can’t cancel (see Psalm 89:47-48).

Tomorrow could bring about sickness (Job 14:1-2). We desire a healthy life. But we have to deal with the fickleness of life and our fragile bodies.

Tomorrow could bring about trouble and suffering. Our days are filled with pain and grief (Job 5:7, 7:1; Ecclesiastes 2:23). We live with frustration, disappointment, and bitterness (Psalm 90:9-10; Ecclesiastes 5:17).

Tomorrow may of course bring no change. Just the mundane grind of sameness. Tomorrow is just like yesterday and the same as today (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

Tomorrow could bring about success and rewards. (Ah, finally something positive!) A promotion? Good profits? Life is good and you can’t wait for tomorrow to come (Isaiah 56:12).

But what about the next tomorrow? Will tomorrow’s tomorrow change your good fortunes—bringing death, sickness, or suffering? Your life comes full circle (Ecclesiastes 1:5-6,9, 3:15).

Ira Stanphill sums up our response to our tomorrows with these lyrics: “I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day. I don’t borrow from its sunshine, for its skies may turn to gray. I don’t worry [about] the future, for I know what Jesus said; And today I’ll walk beside Him, for He knows what is ahead. Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand; but I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand.” —K.T. Sim, Our Daily Journey

Are You a Threat? - by Os Hillman

2009-08-14T06:08:00.000-05:00

"But I will tarry in Ephesus until Pentecost. For a great and effective door has opened to me, and there are many adversaries" (1 Cor 16:8-10).

Angie and I entered the airport when suddenly she began to feel sick. "Honey, I don't think I can go. I feel awful. I was fine driving down here," she said. We stopped and prayed. She didn't feel any better. She decided she would not go. Sadly we said goodbye to one another.

About thirty minutes later I was sitting at the gate when Angie comes running up to me. "I am coming with you," she said. "What happened?" I responded. "I asked the Lord if I was to go and He said 'Yes.' So, I am coming, despite the way I feel."

We got onto the airplane and it was only a few minutes into the flight when she turned to me and said, "I feel fine now. I can't believe how much better I feel." Angie and I began to recognize a consistent pattern of this happening whenever we would go on our ministry trips. We have become increasingly aware of Paul's admonition in Ephesians 6:12,13: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

How big of a threat are you to the kingdom of darkness? If you are pushing back the kingdom of darkness, then chances are you will have opposition in your life. The apostle Paul realized that as doors became open to him, so too were the adversaries in the spiritual realm to his activities.

Today, realize you are in a physical and spiritual battle and put on the armor of God.

Literally, probably, maybe...

2009-07-24T05:53:00.004-05:00

I think the title of this post is how well we believe what is rightfully ours. We are given the following: Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control. We get so caught up in the meaningless things of this world we lose focus and forget what we have been promised; it is ours for the taking! The need and desire to fill every moment of time completing a task has made us lose sight of taking time to enjoy our life while we are here on earth.

Do we know how to rest? In these days it seems that we have lost the ability to do so (generally speaking). We have all of this technology that is meant to make us work more efficiently and get more done in less time. So why do we work longer hours? Why do we focus more of our time on things that waste our time? Why do we have less time to rest and relax?

To go into even more depth...why do we not trust our God to do his part so that we may relax and enjoy the important things in life. Important things are not our nice cars, gadgets, or any material things for that matter. We need to focus more of our time and energy on family and friends. Those are the important things in life. What if you were to lose your job and everything you own. What will still be there? Ultimately your God will be there...then family and friends (if they were ever truly there for you). It is easy for us to lose focus in this society. We are the most prestigious society to ever live on this great and magnificent planet. We have to release everything to our God to allow us our time we have been promised to rest. We were promised victory a long time ago and it is ours for the taking.

"But now, listen to me, Jacob my servant, Israel my chosen one. The LORD who made you and helps you says: O Jacob, my servant, do not be afraid. O Israel, my chosen one, do not fear. For I will give you abundant water to quench your thirst and to moisten your parched fields. And I will pour out my Spirit and my blessings on your children. They will thrive like watered grass, like willows on a riverbank. Some will proudly claim, `I belong to the LORD.' Others will say, `I am a descendant of Jacob.' Some will write the LORD's name on their hands and will take the honored name of Israel as their own.
-Isaiah 44:1-5

After reading that promise of victory you should evaluate your life and figure out where you have put your priorities. We should all make a list of the activities to which we devote our time. We should do this often and make sure that we have them in the proper order. In fact, Peter Drucker (who was a renown management consultant to major corporations and authored many bestselling business books) gives advice on time management. He suggests that we ask three questions about each of these activities to help us minimize the amount of time we waste:

1. "What would happen if this were not done at all?" And if the answer is, 'Nothing would happen,' then obviously the conclusion is to stop doing it.
2. Which of the activities on my time log could be done by somebody else just as well, if not better?
3. What do I do that wastes my time without contributing to my effectiveness?

I realize I put a lot on here after not posting much as of late. It is OK. Let it all sink in :). I hope all that read this have a wonderful and blessed day!

Change, risk, and REWARDS!

2009-07-23T08:50:00.002-05:00

A lot has happened in my life (and within me) over the last 18 months. It has been truly amazing. When initial change is confronted is can be scary. Change inspires fear, creates discomfort, and requires taking new risks. However, change also takes us to the next level. When we reach that new level we are rewarded greatly. When we look back at the point we were facing fear it is hard to not laugh at how minor it truly was. Please try to remember that we have to stay focused on the big picture and not allow ousleves to become overwhelmed with current events!

God, the doorman?!

2009-07-13T05:30:00.000-05:00

God closes doors no man can open and
God opens doors no man can close.

Praise God to live in this great nation!

2009-07-12T14:32:00.005-05:00

I challenge you all to watch this video. It is about fifteen minutes long. Now before you say you do not have time; think about the individuals that sacrificed their time to be on the side of the road throughout the trip. More importantly think about Sergeant First Class John C. Beale who gave his life not even two months ago so that you and I can have the freedom to use the internet to be watching this. This makes me proud to be an American, want to praise God for this great nation in which I live, and to send many prayers and much gratitude to those that serve to protect our freedom.

P.S. - is someone cutting onions around here...or is there a fan on high?

Look...God

2009-07-12T14:09:00.000-05:00

Look back and thank God.

Look forward and trust God.

Look around and serve God.

Look within and find God!

God's Accuracy

2009-07-06T05:00:00.000-05:00

God's accuracy may be observed in the hatching of eggs.

For example, the eggs of the potato bug hatch in 7 days;
Those of the canary in 14 days;
Those of the barnyard hen in 21 days.
The eggs of ducks and geese hatch in 28 days;
Those of the mallard in 35 days.
The eggs of the parrot and the ostrich hatch in 42 days.
(Notice, they are all divisible by Seven).

God's wisdom is seen in the making of an elephant.
The four legs of this great beast all bend forward in the same direction.
No other Quadruped is so made.
God planned that this animal would have a huge body,
too large to live on two legs.
For this reason He gave it four fulcrums so that it
can rise from the ground easily.

The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first.
A cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first.
How wise the Lord is in all His works of creation!

God's wisdom is revealed in His arrangement of sections and segments as well as in the number of grains.
Each watermelon has an even number of strips on the rind.
Each orange has an even number of segments.
Each ear of corn has an even number of rows.
Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains
Every bunch of bananas has on its lowest row an even number of bananas, and each row decreases by one, so that one row has an even number and the next row

an odd number.

The waves of the sea roll In on shore twenty-six to the minute in all kinds of weather.
All grains are found in even numbers on the stalks
The Lord specified Thirtyfold, sixtyfold, and a hundredfold - all even numbers.

God has caused the flowers to blossom at certain specified times during the day, so that Linneus, the great botanist, once said that if he had a conservatory

containing the right kind of soil, moisture and temperature, he could tell the time of day or night by the flowers that were open and those that were closed.

Thus the Lord in His wonderful grace can arrange the life that is entrusted to His care in such a way that it will carry out His purposes and plans, and will be fragrant

with His presence.

Only the God-planned life is successful.

Only the life given over to the care of the Lord is safe.

Keepin' it real!

2009-07-05T05:00:00.000-05:00

The Lord is my Shepherd ----- that's a Relationship!
I shall not want ----- that's Supply!
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures ----that's Rest!
He leadeth me beside the still waters -----that's Refreshment!
He restoreth my soul ----- that's Healing!
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness --that's Guidance!
For His name sake ----- that's Purpose!
Yea, though I walk through the vall ey of the shadow of death--that's Testing!
I will fear no evil ----- that's Protection!
For Thou art with me ----- that's Faithfulness!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me -----that's Discipline!
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies------that's Hope!
Thou annointest my head with oil ----- that's Consecration!
My cup runneth over ----- that's Abundance! Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life----that's Blessing!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord -----that's Security!
Forever ----- that's Eternity!

Face it, God is crazy about you!
Send this to the people you are crazy about. I thought this was pretty special, just like YOU! What is most valuable is not what we have in our lives, but WHO we have in our lives

Psalm 23 (For the Work Place)

2009-07-04T05:32:00.000-05:00

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.

He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.

He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without

murmuring and complaining. He reminds me that He is my source and not my job. He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions that I might honor Him in all that I do. Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, system crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, and an aging body that doesn't cooperate every morning, I still will not stop for He is with me! His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through. He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me. He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens to let me go. His Faithfulness and love is better than any bonus check His retirement plan beats any 401k there is!

When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that, I BLESS HIS NAME!!!!!!

Don't Settle for Happiness; Aim for Joy

2009-07-03T06:42:00.000-05:00

Whatever happens, dear brothers and sisters, may the Lord give you joy Philippians 3:1 (NLT)

A man once told me that he'd broken up with his fiancé because she didn't make him happy enough. Mind you, he was happy with her; she just didn't make him as happy as he felt a future wife should.

What this man told me gives memorable insight into how some people view happiness: They believe happiness is dependent upon the people, the things, and the circumstances that surrounded them.

Yet, the Bible says don't settle for happiness; aim for joy.

Joy comes from within; joy is not dependent upon the people in your life, or the possessions you accumulate, or what's happening at this point in your life.

God says you'll find joy, when you trust that he's in control and working to use the good and the bad of your life for a greater purpose.

The apostle Paul understood this, writing about joy while in prison, chained to a guard, alone in a foreign city: Whatever happens, dear brothers and sisters, may the Lord give you joy (Philippians 3:1 NLT).

He suggested there are two keys to transforming mere happiness into a deeply-felt, ever-present joy:

First, live each day by grace. Grace means you don't have to earn God's love or his approval. And here's some joyful news: If you don't have to earn God's love, then you don't have to earn anyone else's love.

God offers his love unconditionally, and you can joyfully live in that grace everyday, all day long. Understanding this drains the tension from your life: you can make mistakes and know that you're still loved by God, who desires a relationship with you over any rules or rituals.

The man who broke up with his fiancé appears to have had difficulty in understanding grace. His love came with conditions As long as you make me happy, I'll love you and that means he probably assumes the love he receives from others is conditional too. How can anyone experience joy when they live each day thinking they have to earn love?

Second, stay focused on what's really important. There are a lot of little things that can steal your joy but only if you let them. Jesus taught this: Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:19-21 NIV).

My sister, Chaundel, thought about this Bible passage when she learned her house in Maryville, California, was under 9 feet of water. While she and her husband, Tom, were out to dinner, the local levy broke and flooded the area. Even in her grief, she joked, We drove our Chevy to the levy, and the levy was dry.

Looking back on that time, Chaundel says, God taught us that such a loss really makes you think about what's important and what's going to last. Our possessions were wiped out in a matter of minutes, but the important thing is that we were alive and well. Within a year, our house was rebuilt, but we could have never replaced each other.

Happiness is overrated. On the other hand, joy is often forgotten. Yet, joy will stabilize your life as you embrace grace and focus on the things that are truly important, moving a bad hair day down the list and relationships up to the top. No matter what happens, may God give you joy.

- Rick Warren

Isaiah 65:24

2009-06-18T21:35:00.000-05:00

This beautiful story was written by a doctor who worked in Central Africa.
One night I had worked hard to help a mother in the labor ward; but in spite of all we could do, she died, leaving us with a tiny, premature baby and a crying two-year-old daughter. We would have difficulty keeping the baby alive; as we had no incubator (we had no electricity to run an incubator). We also had no special feeding facilities.
Although we lived on the equator, nights were often chilly with treacherous drafts. One student midwife went for the box we had for such babies and the cotton wool that the baby would be wrapped in. Another went to stoke up the fire and fill a hot water bottle. She came back shortly in distress to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had burst (rubber perishes easily in tropical climates).
'And it is our last hot water bottle!' she exclaimed. As in the West, it is no good crying over spilled milk, so in Central Africa it might be considered no good crying over burst water bottles. They do not grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways.
'All right,' I said, 'put the baby as near the fire as you safely can, and sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from drafts. Your job is to keep the baby warm.'
The following noon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with any of the orphanage children who chose to gather with me. I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby. I explained our problem about keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle, and that the baby could so easily die if it got chills. I also told them of the two-year-old sister, crying because her mother had died.
During prayer time, one ten-year-old girl, Ruth, prayed with the usual blunt conciseness of our African children. 'Please, God' she prayed, 'Send us a hot water bottle today . It'll be no good tomorrow, God, as the baby will be dead, so please send it this afternoon.'
While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added, 'And while You are about it, would You please send a dolly for the little girl so she'll know You really love her?'
As often with children's prayers, I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say 'Amen'? I just did not believe that God could do this. Oh, yes, I know that He can do everything; the Bible says so. But there are limits, aren't there? The only way God could answer this particular prayer would be by sending me a parcel from the homeland. I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever, received a parcel from home.
Anyway, if anyone did send me a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator!
Halfway through the afternoon, while I was teaching in the nurses' training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door. By the time I reached home, the car had gone, but there on the porch was a large 22-pound parcel. I felt tears pricking my eyes. I could not open the parcel alone, so I sent for the orphanage children. Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly... Excitement was mounting. Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box.
From the top, I lifted out brightly-colored, knitted jerseys.. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out. Then there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children looked a little bored. Then came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas - that would make a batch of buns for the weekend.
Then, as I put my hand in again, I felt the.. could it really be?
I grasped it and pulled it out. Yes, a brand new, rubber hot water bottle. I cried. I had not asked God to send it; I had not truly believed that He could.
Ruth was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, 'If God has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly, too!

'Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully-dressed dolly. Her eyes shone! She had never doubted! Looking up at me, she asked, 'Can I go over with you and give this dolly to that little girl, so she'll know that Jesus really loves her?'
'Of course,' I replied!
That parcel had been on the way for five whole months, packed up by my former Sunday school class, whose leader had heard and obeyed God's prompting to send a hot water bottle, even to the equator. And one of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child - five months before, in answer to the believing prayer of a ten-year-old to bring it 'that afternoon'.
'Before they call, I will answer.' (Isaiah 65:24)

Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost, but a lot of rewards. Let's continue praying for one another. This awesome prayer takes less than a minute.

Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless my friends reading this. I ask You to minister to their spirit. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self doubting, release a renewed confidence to work through them. Where there is tiredness or exhaustion, I ask You to give them understanding, guidance, and strength. Where there is fear, reveal Your love and release to them Your courage. Bless their finances, give them greater vision, and raise up leaders and friends to support and encourage them. Give each of them discernment to recognize the evil forces around them and reveal to them the power they have in You to defeat it. I ask You to do these things in Jesus' name. Amen.

Resurrected Faith

2009-06-16T08:39:00.000-05:00

"Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son" (Gen 22:10).
There are times in our lives when God brings a test to see if we are ready to put to death the very thing that God promised we would have. Such was the case in the life of Abraham with Isaac. Isaac was the promised son. Yet, God said to raise the knife to sacrifice him in obedience to God.
When God brings such a test into our lives we usually have a choice. Neither choice is attractive. One choice will often salvage some aspect of the vision. The other choice will totally kill the vision from our perspective. However, that is the faith decision. That is the only decision from God's perspective.
If we choose the faith decision that kills the vision - we will witness the resurrection of the vision supernaturally by God. Our own faith will be launched into a whole new dimension. He will raise us up in order to speak through our lives in that experience. God often brings that person into a very public ministry.
However, if we choose the lesser decision, we will reside in a lesser walk with God. God will accept the decision but there will be consequences to our faith journey. He cannot trust us with a bigger vision because He sees our obedience is moveable based on our perceived consequences.
If we choose the lesser decision then God will often orchestrate other events in our lives that are designed to develop our faith to a level that will allow us to make the right decision the next time.
Do you have resurrection faith that will trust God to raise your situation from the dead?

by Os Hillman

A prayer...

2009-06-16T08:29:00.000-05:00

I ran across this today and thought that this was an awesome prayer. It truly fits into my life on this day as well. I just wanted to share...

Dear God, Thank you for being my Father and my greatest Friend. You listen when no one else does. You love me unconditionally. You correct me when I'm wrong, in whatever way you know I will respond. You comfort me when I grieve. You encourage me when I am discouraged. You lead me when I am confused. You carry me when I am weak. You are awesome! Please help me to be that kind of friend to others. I pray that I will be sensitive to other people's feelings and life situations; that I will be a true friend who speaks the truth in love. I pray that I will be alert to signs that cry out for help. I pray that I will be available when needed. I pray that I will laugh with and have fun with my friends, rejoice with them as well as hold and comfort them when the time comes. May I be consistent in every season of life. May I share your love and shine the light of your word upon others. And may you be glorified. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Gratitude...

2009-05-15T23:28:00.003-05:00

I am grateful for my mother who has always been there for me and continues to show her support through all my times of need.
I am grateful for my sister who despite our many differences has always shown me love and is the best sibling I could have hoped and dreamed of having.
I am grateful for all my family who has stuck with me through all of my trials and tribulation sin life.
I am grateful for my friends who show support when it is needed and are there for me to vent to.
I am grateful for the mother of my son who has been an amazing mother and raised a bright, happy boy that will grow into a strong man.
I am VERY grateful for the healthy son that I have been blessed with and regardless of the past I now have a bright future whereas I can be an example for him to become a great man that lives the life all men should.
I am grateful for GOD for having the grace to let someone with my wicked past live a great life from this day forward so that I may do my part to make this world a better place.

There is so much that I am grateful for that I could go on for hours but I will spare anyone that reads this the experience of falling asleep while reading a blog.

Thank you to all that are in my life and I appreciate each and every one of you.

Enjoy the ride...

2009-05-11T18:57:00.003-05:00

Hello people...I realize that I have not been around here. Things are getting run down. I know. I know.

Well, I am trying to get back into the mode of writing again. Not only is it therapeutic but it is thoroughly enjoyable as well.

Anyway all I have is this which was shared with me by my mother.

Enjoy the Ride!

Decaffeinated kerfuffle...

2009-03-26T05:25:00.001-05:00

Many Americans have a predilection to enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning.

Well, those that work where I do are no different. However, due to working for a company that is a hybrid combination of two of the worst industries in our nation (at this juncture). They are doing all they can to cut costs whereas we are a sinking ship.

The best analogy out there would be in the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" film where Captain Jack Sparrow's ship was sinking and just before it went completely under he stepped off onto the dock. I am just hoping the dock draws near before the ship goes under so I can make it to dry land. Anyone that knows me well knows that swimming is not my strong suit! LOL

I digress...

Below I have attached portions of an email that we received at my place of employment two weeks ago. Quite amusing if you ask me.

"In a continued effort to minimize costs in 2009 we are looking at all areas of our building where we can save money... As a result of our partnership with [censored for discretion] we are pleased to announce that the cafeteria will offer you premium coffee...starting on March 23, 2009. We will also be adding a coffee vending machine in the building that will supply regular coffee, flavored coffee and hot chocolate at reduced prices.

Because of the ongoing cost, we will no longer be supporting the complimentary coffee service throughout the building.

We appreciate your support as we move forward to save costs in 2009."

Ironically, just over a week later this appeared in Dilbert. I found it fitting and comical..HAHA

Do you feel...

2009-03-25T22:21:00.000-05:00

Experiments from jarrett on Vimeo.

Siren Lucidity...

2009-03-08T10:18:00.002-05:00

This will be another one of my dream entries....I will do my best to provide as much of it as I can remember.

I was the second vehicle in the caravan we had going to dinner. Not sure who all else was going but there was several cars in our caravan. As we approached our destination there was a spiral ramp (like at a parking garage) leading up the parking lot.

The vehicle in front of me turned sharply which struck me as odd. A split second later I see a NRH police car rapidly approaching me head on (going the wrong direction I might add). I swerve to miss them and do luckily. as I look in my rear view mirror I see the car blast through the wall and over the side.

As odd as it was I continued up the ramp to my parking space. Our group all came up, parked, and we were waiting for our table. I am not sure if anyone else in my group was aware of what happened whereas everyone was simply making small talk as we waited. I kept looking over to where the crowd was gathering looking over at where this tragic event occurred. From what i remember it looked as though the driver was in uniform, there was a second individual in the passenger seat, and a third (also in uniform) riding in the back.

I finally went over to see the result of this. the vehicle had plummeted into water. Once in the restaurant you could go down to the lower level and see through the glass wall into this area. What was strange is that the water did not slow the fall enough for the car to sit on the bottom. It has actually gone all the way through the floor. However, none of the water was draining out?!

They then did a quick fix patch job on the floor with plywood and lattice. Then several senior citizens arrive for an underwater cardio class. One kept getting her foot caught in the lattice and I thought she going to fall through.

I saw another officer and asked if the patrol car had been stolen or not. He advised me that he had not heard anything and then replied with a question, asking me if I thought the driver had been doing meth.

I woke up before I could read the paper (LOL) and find out exactly what had happened.

I am not sure what the meaning of this is but my dreams continue to be even more odd than my daily thoughts...lol

I think you should all pray for me...LOL

Periphery comet...

2009-02-23T21:23:00.003-06:00

It is said that the comet named Lulin (which was only discovered in 2007 by Chinese and Taiwanese astronomers) it making its way out of our solar system to never return. Here is a map of where to find it if you are into these type of once in a lifetime opportunities. Otherwise you can get PDF maps here.

Damage Inc. and Paper or plastic?

2009-02-18T11:06:00.009-06:00

Damage Inc.

Well, on my way to work this morning...

BOOM!

...it happened.

What happened? (you might ask)...

Yes I am OK...hopefully the car will be OK...

Now moving on...

Paper or plastic?

Whole Foods will be there first chain to completely stop using plastic bags! They plan to do so in all U.S., Canada, and U.K. store location no later than on Earth Day 2009 (April 22). They have stopped all orders for new so as they run out; they will no longer be available. Let us now just hope that other stores will follow in their footsteps. Some 4 to 5 trillion plastic bags—including large trash bags, thick shopping bags, and thin grocery bags—were produced globally in 2002, according to the Worldwatch Institute’s State of the World 2004 report. It is said that more than 100 million bags will be kept from the environment in 2009 alone as a result of this action. I for one would be happy to take a road trip and not see one of these bags in a tree or shrub.

Perhaps less widely known is the destructive impact that plastic bags have on marine life. As the they make their way into streams, rivers, storm drains, etc.; these bags are the major source of human-related waste on the seabed. Over 250 different species have suffered from entanglement or ingestion of marine debris...and that is only what has been reported.

So kudos to Whole Foods and let us hope and pray that other corporations will follow in their footsteps.

I know that is a strange combination of topics but being that this is my 100th post on this blog I did not want it to end on a negative...lol

Tersely stated...

2009-02-12T21:11:00.003-06:00

more proof that (American) football is the greatest and most popular sport in the United States. I just discovered that the Pro Bowl beat out the Lakers-Cavs game in the ratings by almost 20%. That is truly amazing to even me. For those that know me; know that I have to be among the top five percent of fanatical football fans. Yet, even for me it is hard to fathom that there was that much of a separation be tween the two. I mean you have Kobe Bryant and LeBron James on the court competing against one another. WOW! That is all I can say is WOW! Although I watched the Pro Bowl I had no idea that it had that much popularity.

...I'm just sayin'...LOL

Guilty of obfuscation...

2009-02-10T20:12:00.005-06:00

many have implied or flat out stated Google is. Is it because they track a lifelong record of every search query each of its users had made, also including the IP address the query was executed from and a cookie ID to link together queries from a user's computer even if the IP address changes? I realize that they have an inordinately large amount of information stored on individuals web surfing habits; but this is all public knowledge and is explained in Google's privacy policy.

Additionally, you are notified any time you install something like Google desktop, Picasa, latitude, Grand Central, etc. They are not trying to be secretive about it.

There are plenty of conspiracy theories out there about the what they intend to use the information for...or why? Is it to ingratiate themselves with the governments of the world when information is needed? Is it simply to get into our mind so they can send us the advertising ads with the most relevance to us? Both seem logically possible and yet that of being theoretical all at the same time.

Regardless of their intentions I am a fan and a huge advocate of Google and all of their services. That is why I want to introduce the following new initiative the my four regular readers (and anyone else that comes across this...LOL).

Introducing Google powermeter! At this time I believe it is only available for the employees of Google currently testing it out. But think about the positive impact this could have on individuals expenses as well as the carbon footprint we as a nation put forth currently. IN fact if I still lived in the DC area I would happily attend the Plug into the Smart Grid event!

That I really all I have for the world today! I hope that this is available for me someday in the near future. I will absolutely utilize the service to save myself some money as well as reduce my energy consumption.

P.S. - Do not forget to install the Google Energy Saver Gadget on your computer to adjust your computers power settings to save the worlds energy as well.

If you found this post even the slightest bit intriguing then you should also check out this book.

Surreptitiously observing the workforce...

2009-02-09T19:52:00.004-06:00

I sit back and watch. It pains me at times but I know that life is full of tests and one thing that only we control of ourselves is our integrity. I also know that trust, whereas it takes time to build, can be completely taken away and removed in seconds. That is why I continue to be "that guy" at work. You know the guy many people talk about and call a brown noser? Why do they call me that?

I can tell you why. Because, I do what I am paid to do. I show up to work on time. I actually work while I am there. I do not take excessive breaks, lunches, or meaningless trips to the printer/copy machine. I do not take personal calls (nor give out my work number). I do not email on personal matters at work. Nor, do I surf the net while at work.

...and this all makes me some sort of a freaky nerd? Tell you what I will gladly accept that label.

One thing that consistently shows at EVERY place I have ever been employed is that my performance and results are among the leaders every time. I can go home every day knowing that no one can look at me and my actions and state that my work day was just a subterfuge. You get what you see when it comes to my work.

What is frustrating is seeing so many individuals in the work force that lack true work ethic and are essentially "equals" in the work force. Is it possible that this is all envisaged by myself? I suppose it is possible but, I see and hear people complaining about the most insignificant things on a daily basis. Their pejorative behaviour seems to be contagious as well as you watch it spread through a work place like a wild fire. I often times become enervated with it all.

Tantalisingly trippy...

2009-02-07T20:56:00.003-06:00

the mind truly is an amazing thing. We will never fully understand the complexity of God's true design of it all. But here are some fun hack tricks for your brain!

P.S. - You do NOT even need LSD or mescaline to do these. These are safe and fun for the whole family.

Inequity in life...

2009-02-05T19:28:00.002-06:00

I am truly amazed when I am out and about in public. Whether it be work, the grocery store, a restaurant, and even church *gasp* (yes even at church)...one common occurrence that I witness is someone complaining about something. They may be on the phone going off to the mystery human on the other line; or even just bantering to another individual near them. Either way I am truly amazed that out of everything we have in this country that there is so much to complain about. A country where our homeless live better than many people in third world countries.

I challenge anyone reading this...from this day on...take the opportunity to focus on the positive things in your life. The blessings that have been given to you. If you need to stop and look around at nature...it is soothing, relaxing, and can really allow for you to acknowledge some of the great things we have in life. If you apply your attention prosaically on a daily basis you will find things begin to look up for you. Once you reach the point of feeling more optimistic about yourself and the world around you; you can then share that optimism with the world.

With all that being said...do NOT let the negativity become your idiosyncratic style. It is ugly and repulsing. No matter how bad things get...remember what you DO have.

If you focus on these things they will drag you down and not allow you to grow and move forward to reach your future goals and aspirations.

The end of repugnant cookies...

2009-01-28T19:36:00.002-06:00

I felt that this post was necessary today whereas today is Data Privacy Day 2009!!!

I know that over the last several years the fact that Google tracks your every move down to the day you cut yor toenails has been the cause of much contrvoersy. Well for those of you that feel you have something to hide the answer has arrived. Now there is a search engine that will truly anonymize your search results. It is a (not so) new Netherlands-based search engine named ixquick. Just for the sake of full disclosure: The Dutch search engine does actually use two cookies, but one expires after 90 days and the other expires at the end of each search session.

Otherwise if you are a huge Google advocate you can download Google Chrome which is their web browser. You would then hit 'Ctrl+Shift+N' and it will open what they call an Incognito Window.

Wither of these options can come to be very useful if you need a stealth mode. For example, if youa re planning that dream vaction for Valentines Day. Or, if you are moving out of the country to avoid paying a speeding ticket...lol (Poor reasoning I know...I am in a funky mood at the moment.) Either of these options will not store data of the websites you were at and both options will delete any (and all) cookies upon closing out the window.

Purported error...

2009-01-28T07:11:00.007-06:00

I think that when people call in to an organization for assistance in reference to a matter; they instantly assume that the person that answered the phone is the cause of all their problems in life. Sure it is a major pain to call in using your valuable time, sit on hold, and then have to explain your entire story to the representative that is there to assist you. However, you should not scream, yell, cuss, and/or argue with the aforementioned individual there to assist you. Keep in mind, that that individual is a consumer just as well and has likely experienced the same issues that you are dealing with. Additionally, it is possible that this individual has likely never (I repeat NEVER) heard of you, seen your account, or even had the slightest knowledge of your existence prior to answering your phone call.

I would also bet my annual salary that there is a 90% (probably higher) chance that the person at which you are dealing out incomprehensible amounts of hate and anger had nothing to do with the issue that you are having with that said product or service. Some that read this may say, "Hey you are customer service it is your job." WRONG pal! As human beings we should ALL be kind and respectful to one another. Typically the person you are speaking with on the other line is paid a minimal amount for their services anyway.

You also want to get pissy and angry with someone in India (or any other country) trying to assist you. Look, I understand the frustration with our jobs moving to other countries; oftentimes not being able to fully understand what that person is saying and a communication barrier where they do not understand anything we mention outside of their script...just to name a couple. I get that.

But, with that being said...it is no wonder some individuals in other nations hate us...look at the perception they must have and the "word of mouth" that would be spread.

P.S. - One more thing...what I have found to be true in most aspects of life over the last few years is that people are not willing to be accountable for their own actions. For example, someone gets their vehicle repossessed. They call up and scream and yell and blame the company. Well, YOU are the one that did not make your payments as agreed upon within the terms of your contract. These companies also do not go out and repossess your car after being just a few days late. You are either a repeat offender and/or you are VERY past due. Some arguments are as follows: "No one ever contacted me." - well you should have contacted the company with updated contact information when you moved and/or changed your number. "I lost my job." - that is truly unfortunate but when income stops for a business, as it does when people stop paying their bills, they too can go out of business (or file bankruptcy) and then be out of jobs. "I did not know the terms of my contract." - ummmm really? You should read documents you sing. If you choose not to (as most individuals do) then do not use it as an excuse.

OK I am done ranting...I hope you all learned something...lol

P.S.S - OK I am not done. I want to be sure that everyone that reads this understands that I have been the person yelling at the representative in the past so I feel I can rightfully write this whereas I have been on both sides. I was simply taking my anger for other issues in life out on some poor unknowing individual.

I would also like to add that I have had a vehicle repossessed in my past. Only I knew it was MY fault and not the credit company's so I had to suck it up. This occurred at a time after I had realized I am accountable for my own actions so no one there got yelled at! LOL

Disingenuous promises...

2009-01-27T21:50:00.002-06:00

I find it amazing how common an occurrence it is in our society today to have individuals promise to let go of the past and "start over". These same individual then stridently do the exact opposite.

In fact, I do not just see it with individuals today but also spreading into our corporate world. Look at all of these companies wanting a bailout. How do we expect these organizations to ever change if they are "bailed out"?

How do we ever expect them to truly change their business practices unless you let them fail and then be forced to restructure? Not to say that it is not possible to make the necessary changes for survival without a helping hand...but seriously....is that what we are seeing?

IAG being caught on two different occasions at resorts holding so-called restructuring conferences where they spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in one weekend. You have banks getting billions in bail-out money then laying off thousands of employees, just to turn around and purchase other companies in the industry. Then the latest we have is CitiGroup spending $50 million to purchase a private jet that seats twelve! Am I the only one pissed off about this?

John Maxwell once said, "You will never change your life until you change something you do daily."

We are humans..the most intelligent species on the planet. Should we not be challenged to grow every day that we are here on earth? Now I will be the first to say I can work on this concept myself. However, can we continue to let people in our lives and businesses in our society to do the opposite and rely on the rest of us to protect them?

We all need to change that something we do daily for the better and then get passionate about what we do. Another great man named John Wesley once said, "Catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come for miles to watch you burn." That is so true! I have witnessed it myself, with me being the one burning with passion and enthusiasm. It is an amazing thing.

Well, just on a tear and trying to get back in mode of posting here regualrly. Had to write about something...lol I hope everyone is having a great 2009 thus far.

Enervation to auspicious beginnings...

2009-01-25T14:30:00.004-06:00

Well, here we are. My first blogoversary! I figured with this I should begin writing again. It has been far too long since I have regularly posted entries in here.

Well the last year was definitely filled with all kinds of change, adversity, etc.

January: at the time I began writing in this blog I was just coming out of a state of pretty severe depression that was a result of a time in my life of obfuscation. I had never experienced depression before (whereas I am a predominantly happy go lucky kind of person) so it took me a while to even figure out what was wrong within myself. During that time I also began consistently experiencing migraine headaches that would last days. It was what some would call a low-point in my life. The turn around began when I flew into Texas for the holidays. I was able to visit my mother and sister and try to get my thoughts worked out. It worked...I went back to my home in Virginia after the holidays with a new sense of motivation.

February: I decided I was moving out of Virginia and back to Texas. I gave my two weeks notice to my place of employment and began packing my things.

March: On the first of the month I found myself back in my home state with a new vigor for life. On the eighth my mother invited me to go to Church with her which was another good move.

April: By now I had quit smoking and was rarely drinking. I had replaced those habits with yoga and lifting weights.

May: Still continuing a frustrating job search but keeping my spirits up throughout that time. I continued to go to the gym regularly and do yoga as often as possible. I also began spending more time at church volunteering by working with the children's ministries and the singles home group ministry as well.

June: By now I am continuing the aforementioned activities, exercises, etc. I also got myself a job (though not ideal was a job none-the-less). I also joined a flag football pick-up league that was here locally and got involved in being a co-organizer for that group as well.

July: The month that changed everything and will go down as one of the greatest months of my life. Not only did I get a new job that I enjoyed much more than the previous...on the sixteenth of this month I was contacted and discovered I have a son (Andrew)! An emotional roller coaster would follow; but, I knew that I had to keep focused now that there is a child in the picture.

August: Continued to get to know Andrew and his mother which was very fulfilling for me. Although i had missed out on the previous three years of his life I was enthralled with knowing I could be there for the years to come to help to raise him to be a good man. I also continued to excel at my new job by leading my department for the month.

September: Month number two of leading the department at my new job; due to that fact I also got a promotion! But the best part of the month was when I flew out to meet my son. I also must thank the Guerrero's for providing me with that plane ticket so I could go meet my son. It was the most amazing weekend. His mother has done a fantastic job of raising him. He is very well behaved and so happy. I did not want to leave to come back home.

October: I continued to struggle for a while after going out there. I was under a lot of stress. Starting the new position at work, still living with my mother (which was supposed to be very temporary), and the pain of not being able to see my son. For a while I could not even go to my friends houses that had children because it was too difficult to be around children. But, I got through it and continued to move forward at work as well.

November: At this point I was just counting the days to when I would be back in California to hang out with Andrew! There was stark contrast as to my emotions after leaving California in September. I knew now that I would once again be spending time with my son again. This time I had more than a week to do so!

December: The time has come. The first year I get to spend my birthday, Christmas, and Andrew's birthday with him! The anticipation was so intense. I finally got out to CA and to get to hold him in my arms was a great reward for months of patience. I made the best of the time I was allowed to see my son and tried to be near him at all times. Knowing the value of time and knowing that we had such a small amount of it together made it that much more important to me. Also knowing that I have no idea when I am going to be able to see him again.

Now we are in a new year that will be full of new beginnings and changes. I am pledging to make this the best year of my life and make great strides in the direction that I have to go. I also intend to begin posting again and more often as a place to vent my thoughts and reactions to things in the world. Happy New Year all!

A lesson to be learned...

2009-01-10T12:06:00.003-06:00

When you look around and see all the fighting and division in our nation; even our world it is often times confusing. Watch this video and tell me that this is not how all species (especially humans) shoudl interact with one another.

THE SILENT SERMON

2009-01-07T20:16:00.000-06:00

A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending services regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the preacher decided to visit him.

It was a chilly evening. The preacher found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire. Guessing the reason for his preachers visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the fireplace and waited.

The preacher made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning logs. After some minutes, the preacher took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone then he sat back in his chair, still silent.

The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone ember's flame flickered and diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and dead.

Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting. The preacher glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave. He slowly stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow,once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it.

As the preacher reached the door to leave, his host said with a tear running down his cheek, 'Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the fiery sermon. I shall be back in church next Sunday.'

We live in a world today, which tries to say too much with too little. Consequently, few listen. Sometimes the best sermons are the ones left unspoken.

Good stuff...

2008-11-22T12:24:00.000-06:00

I would give credit where credit is due but I am not sure of the persons name that wrote this. But it was not me..lol. Enjoy.

Sin makes our armor vulnerable to attack from Satan, who then gains permission from God to attack us in the area where we have failed to uphold righteousness. If we break down in moral purity, Satan comes in and establishes a stronghold. If we give place to bitterness and unwillingness to forgive, we will break fellowship with God and others. If we become money-focused, we will fall into greed and deception. It is a vicious cycle.

Ten facts remain, even after this election regardless of who wins...

2008-11-04T19:28:00.003-06:00

1. The Bible will still have all the answers.

2. Prayer will still work.

3. The Holy Spirit will still move.

4. God will still inhabit the praises of His people.

5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.

6. There will still be singing of praise to God.

7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.

8. There will still be room at the cross.

9. Jesus will still love you.

10. Jesus will still save the lost.

Isn't it great to know who is in control?

You say to"may"to; I say to"maw"to...

2008-11-03T06:38:00.003-06:00

This entry is something I came across that I thought I would share. I am sure it is nothing you have not heard before but still great information...

"I can't believe you think I said that," I complained to my wife. "I was simply trying to explain that I don't have the same feelings about that issue as you do." Her response left little empathy for my position because of the tone in which I responded to her. We resigned ourselves to agree to disagree.
We all see things through our own set of glasses at times. Men view things differently than women. Bosses see things differently than employees. One ethic group will see a situation totally different than another. Our life experiences, our past treatment of circumstances and our personalities all contribute to how we view situations in daily life.
Perception is often each person's reality whether that reality is true or not. Your perception of a situation is going to dictate your response more than the actual reality of it.
Whenever conflict arises from viewing things differently there is really only one way to resolve the difference. Usually the other person is offended by the tone of the other more than the position that is taken. If the other person is offended, we can only offer a few words: "I'm sorry. Will you forgive me for my tone?"
Humbling ourselves is the only way to resolve the relational breach. This does not mean you must agree with the other person's position, it simply means you acknowledge their right to their position and you apologize for the manner in which you responded to their statements. This will usually allow most conflicts to avoid a breach in the relationship.

Ephesians 4:2-3

2008-10-29T21:49:00.000-05:00

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.